#and now i see a post with tags “go out fucking loser�� like wow. just wow.

[chappellrroan]

people who still hate Joe Alwyn need to get a life asap

[jlf23tumble]

Hiii hope you won’t mind this ask! I just found your blog and i’ve gone over it a bit and I saw you talking about h and l not being together and it made me curious about your larry thoughts!! You can answer in the tags if you don’t want to start discourse but I hope you do answer:((!

I don’t know if you think they’ve been together in the past/never together or just don’t care about it cause scrolling through Tumblr is a nightmare and I can’t see all your posts obviously ahaha but personally I thought they were together and I think they might have broken up in the last year or so. I got a strong sixth sense in general if you could call it that and lately I can sense something is different and I can see some people feel the same but don’t really discuss it openly so I wanted to hear your opinion.

The last thing that made me ‘sure’ they were still a thing while looking at the previous 12 years was harryween with hopelessly devoted to you and then Louis quoting it at his grease fav. After that I can’t really see something that makes me think “at that point they must have been together cause otherwise it wouldn’t make sense”. And paired it up with louis in particular being a bit strange in the last few months and with what you pointed out as well namely Harry doing everything he can to not be even thought to be on tour with L… As I said I don’t know when you started talking about a break up, but do you think that halloween’s occurance was still them being together or teasing each other from a distance or maybe just keeping larries at bay? And would you mind telling me then when you think their situation changed and what you think now? Sorry it’s so longggg and thank you if you take time to answer me <3

Helllllllo, I never mind any kind of ask! Granted, sometimes I might not answer but only because I'm overwhelmed, or it's the same ask in a row, or I'm not loving a sentence, or I just don't feel like it, or I think a bathroom shot is more appropriate, lmao, but this one? I got all the time in the world for you…so much so that I'll put it under the cut, since the ask is long enough itself, as shall the answer be!

Welcome to this mess, and wow, I'm so bowled over you even tried to scroll, I know trying to search tumblr.biz is a loser's lover's game, even for the loser lover who wrote it, so I won't even bother, but we can start fresh!

So my thoughts: Hell yeah, I think these two were together back in the day, probably almost immediately (see: the entire x-factor scandale with the blinds about all the fucking, the stairs interviews, ALL OF IT, screammmm). I don't know how long or even IF they were strictly monogamous, they were in a pressure cooker situation of near-constant contact with each other for five years, but I do think it eventually morphed into something open and/or then into a messy on again/off again situationship. That’s my current stance today, in fact—c'est messy!!!!

I’ll do the usual caveat that none of us actually KNOWS them, though, or what went down, we're only looking at what we see (and hear) and making a wild guess, and yet! Plenty of people see (and hear) the same thing and opt for a crazy reach with their whole chest, all to justify something happening between teenagers 13 years ago as if NOTHING would or could have changed since then. And some of those reaches make literally no sense, or they wash away anything that gets too close to that third rail of cognitive dissonance, the proverbial fingers in ears, lalalalala. I saw it recently on a post I made about clingy Harry with a stranger on the drunk WeHo trolley, with someone in the tags going, wait, I’ve never seen this! Of course you haven’t, that’s what an echo chamber does, bb!

Personally, I don't get that mindset—what’s so wrong about learning life is tough and things change for two literal strangers? Sure, we all love love and want the best for them, but shit happens in real life, too. Maybe it's easier to latch onto made-up receipts or straight up call a blue a green, but I think a big aspect of it is also the need to be right, to show you aren’t crazy, it’s real, and that gets frequently mixed in as being “supportive,” like you're some kind of homophobe if these two break up, as if two men fucking two other men somehow isn't worthy of your “support." But I’m here to say those two things actually can exist, something can be true in the past and not be true today, and it doesn’t negate the past bit, shocking, right?

Anyway, I digress. I feel like your sixth sense is on the money, and I'd love to hear more about it, either message me here or dm me about what tips you into that direction (hey!) because I feel like there is SO MUCH THAT DOES, yet few people really get into it. To me, it’s just a lot of content, so much content, the bare minimum being lyrics in multiple songs across a shit ton of albums, both solo and the very last 1D one. At this point, to me, Larry “proofs” sound insane (he wore green pants, they're MARRIED!!!!!), and part of me is like, kudos to you, Mr. Tomlinson, jesus loves you more than you will know, etc. Even that Harryween outfit of which you speak feels like a reach of a reach, a callback of a reach, mostly because it’s also not that deep, Grease isn't some tiny film nobody's seen, it's actually a remarkably easy group costume, AND it references things that could be nostalgic to two sets of people (larries and larry). I actually feel like these two at this point are either a) signaling to each other in some kinda way, like that monitor edgeplay shit they used to do (which works if you're together or apart, I might add), or b) cashing in some of that green blue green, if you feel me. And again, both of those could be true at once, they don't cancel each other out. I have two hands, I can hold a lotta thoughts!

It’s at this point where I start bangin’ the drum for garries because gaylors have it dead easy—you can be a gaylor and think that kaylor was a thing, but it doesn’t mean it’s STILL a thing to you, so whither garries!? I just don’t think a lot of today’s larries do themselves any favors by doubling down and driving out anyone who has questions. For the big ones, there’s no room for even whispering, hey, yeah, they were together, but they might have broken up, maybe??? It’s, like, NO!!! They’re mawwwwwwied, #husbands, they’ve only fucked one person, each other, let’s jump through a hoop that says Louis wearing green sweats is so LOUD (I’m not listening to lyrics, though, lalalalalala)!! It’s tragic and frankly dumb, but if you want to wallow in the persecution complex of it all, “everybody hates us ☹ (including Louis),” I guess the option is there, the whole us vs. them of it all that I’m just personally not into.

But I do feel like there’s some hope, it’s nice to see people coming around to the idea that, yeah, they WERE together and maybe they aren’t anymore, but it’s okay, it’s not the end of the world! It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, maybe they’ll reunite someday, or maybe it’s a goddamned hot mess, but you know what? Not my circus, not my monkeys! Granted, that part is harder for people who are mutuals with those who will not tolerate doubts even for a second—I just hope they venture off and find the other chill people, u know, the ones a lot of larries wish they saw on their dashes instead of hand-wringers, uh oh, oops, reaping = sowing.

I’m sorry, I’m ramblin’ here, let’s get back to your questions at the end of your ask! Do I think Harryween was them together or teasing each other or keeping larries at bay? Hmmmm, maybe a secret fourth thing: easy costume, easy global reference, and it’s not gonna keep larries at bay, lmao. Idk, man, for all we know (which, again, is literally nothing, nobody’s getting 24/7 content for 5 years straight anymore, such a bitter pill to swallow), maybe Grease is a fave movie of someone who’s in the new band, maybe Harry’s got a close personal friend who’s into it, too, maybe Louis's not the only guy in the world Harry’s dated who’s obsessed with Danny Zuko.

As for when do I think their situation changed, I think Eleanor was a big clue, breakup no. 1 was probably around their own breakup no. 1, she was an amazing proxy in so many ways, but I’m sure there were rifts and spats along the way (it even seeped into interviews that get written off as cute funsies or else are outright ignored because nobody watches beyond the gif format). I follow at least one person who talks about the '15 promo tour as giving very recent breakup energy, yet still has some fwb vibes, which means it's AWKWARD in spots, and I can see that. It would also explain why they were suddenly able to "sit together,” lol. Anyway, yes, that breakup (both times) was a big sign, I think no more peace ring was a HUGE sign, I think the writeups by Rob Sheffield (both of them, actually), especially the last paragraph of the Fine Line cover story was a NEON sign, and I think the last four albums by both of them spell it out, underline it, bold it, AND italicize it super clearly, but those are just the easy pickings (see also: Harry biking around daily to prove he’s not in Poland, Greece, etc., and the response is always, “We don’t know what day this was,” lmao).

What I think now is up above! I think it’s messy! Complicated! They aren’t #married! Now is that a forever thing? Who’s to say, and more importantly, who’s to really care on a “does this impacts my daily life in some kind of financial or spiritual way,” see further: circus, monkeys. I get that it’s easy to say, I interact with a lot of other people who don’t care and won't ostracize me for being a doubting Susan with my ~controversial thoughts and UOs. But there are those with faith in the future, so maybe it is as it was…hehe, oh me. I amuse myself, at least. Sorry this is an epic reply, and that it’s days late, I hope it gives you what you wanted to know! Anyone sending me garbage will get a bathroom response, peace and love.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Puppy Love

Pairing: Jake Jensen/Fem-Reader

Words: 4684

Summary: You and Jake Jensen work together for the first time on a recon mission. You’re the consummate professional, while Jake is basically a man-child with a heart of gold. Will he be able to soften your cold demeanor?

Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual content, explicit descriptions of violence, SMUT, 18+

A/N: I ended up be a little later than I had planned with this one as I wanted to do some edits since the first draft didn’t seem quite right to me, but here it is, for day 5 of my birthday week. I actually watched “The Losers” for the first time today and I would highly recommend it. It’s a bit on the cheesy side but Jake Jensen really makes it worth it. I’m going to tag @stargazingfangirl18​ and @starlightcrystalline​, as I know they’re fans of Jake’s. Please enjoy!

“What’s he look like again?”

“Golden retriever in human form, blond buzz, goatee, Harry Potter glasses.” Aisha instructed you over your phone. “Probably stuffing his face at the buffet. He’ll have a comm for you. Thanks for stepping in for me at the last minute.”

“Well, you didn’t give me that much of a choice.” You said, no real malice behind it. You did owe her after all. “Found him. Talk to you in a sec.”

She had been right, you found your contact at the buffet, balancing two plates on one forearm and loading them with an obscene amount of h’ors douvres. He didn’t notice you walking up behind him, he was so engrossed in the spread.

“Jensen?”

The man nearly jumped out of his skin, just barely avoiding spilling foie gras on his tux.

“Shit.” He muttered under his breath as he set the plates down on a table and turned back to you. “Y/N? Hi! Call me Jake!” He wiped his hands on his pants leg before offering you one to shake in greeting.

You cocked one eyebrow at him as he gave you a slightly crooked grin and took his hand. “Right, you have a comm for me?”

“Crap, yes, here you go.” He handed the small earpiece and gave you a good look, eyes scanning up and down your body. You were wearing a long sleeve green satin gown. The bodice hugged you tightly down to your hips before flaring into a skirt that had a slit running all the way up your leg. The gown didn’t have a back, showing off the lean muscles moving beneath your skin.

Jensen cleared his throat and took what you thought was supposed to be a nonchalant pose; leaning back on one foot with his arms crossed, one eyebrow lifted in an expression you couldn’t identify. “So,” he said in an artificially deep voice. “Where, uh, where are you from?”

You rolled your eyes and ignored the question as you inserted the comm link into your ear. “Comm test, can you read me, Aisha?”

“I read you, I see you found Jensen.”

“Yeah, where are we heading?”

“Right down to business, I can respect that.” Jensen said, nodding his head as he shuffled his feet and crossed and uncrossed his arms repeatedly, trying to give off an air of confidence and failing miserably.

“There’s a hallway to your left that should lead to the north wing of the property where the entrance to the server room is. Security is pretty lax right now but they’re definitely still there so make sure you don’t look suspicious.”

“Got it.” You turned back to Jensen and put one arm through his, giving him a radiant smile as the two of you started to head down the hall.

“Hahaha, what’s happening?” Jensen laughed nervously at your sudden and extreme change in demeanor.

“Relax, Jensen. We’re just taking a stroll to look at the artwork. Nothing that should concern anyone.”

“Oh, ok. Are you acting right now? You’re really good at it.”

Your smile started to strain. Wasn’t this guy supposed to be a professional? “That’s part of the job.” You grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the waiters before you headed down the hallway. You nodded to Jensen to grab one as well, hoping that if he started drinking, he might stop talking.

You were wrong.

“I always feel so awkward when I have to act on a job, you know? Like, what’s my character’s story? His motivations?” He took a sip of champagne. “Mm, this is good.”

You chugged your glass in one gulp. Maybe if you got a buzz going, the constant chatter wouldn’t bother you as much.

“Wow. That was impressive.”

“Jensen, Y/N is too much of a pro to say so, but you need to shut the fuck up.” Aisha said through your comms, exasperated. You heard laughing from the rest of the team in the background and gave a small smirk.

“Right, sorry. I babble when I’m nervous.” He said, taking another sip of champagne.

You were getting close to the server room now and saw a security guard walking towards you. You pulled Jensen off to the side and stared at a beautiful replica of John William Waterhouse’s ‘The Soul of the Rose’.

“Tell me about this one, sweetie.” You said, your voice sickeningly sweet as you giggled breathlessly and looked at Jensen coquettishly, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

“Uhh, this is a painting of… a woman, um, smelling a rose. From…. Sometime in the past?” He said, painfully.

Fortunately, the guard didn’t stop to analyze the absolute stupidity that was coming out of this man’s mouth. He continued past the two of you and you started to head back towards your destination.

“Fascinating analysis, Jensen.” You said dryly.

“Listen, I can’t ad lib. I need time to prepare my lines.”

“How have you survived in this… fuck.” You drew him back sharply before he had a chance to round the corner. There were two guards posted at the door to the server room. “Aisha, we’ve got two bogies right where we need to be. Is there any other way in?”

“Shit, no. Vents are welded shut and the roof is crawling with security, so the sky light isn’t an option.”

You chewed your lips as you weighed the several different scenarios. “Is there a closet or other sort of storage nearby?”

“Yeah, there’s a janitor’s closet right across the hall.”

“Great.” Not trusting your partner to act the part believably, you figured startling him would get him into a convincing state.

You grabbed his ears and pulled his face to yours, kissing him hard. He gave a small yelp into your mouth as you pulled him backwards with you, into the view of the two waiting guards. You separated from him and he gave you a goofy grin trying to kiss you again as you turned away from him, pulling him by his wrist and giggling.

You staggered drunkenly towards the two guards and gave them a sloppy grin. “’Scuse me.“ You slurred at them. Jensen collided into your back clumsily, panting breathlessly. “We’re looking for the bathroom.”

“You need to move out of this area.” One of the guards scowled at you, his hand moving to the gun holstered on his hip.

“How… dare you?” You whined, stepping forward and poking him in the chest. “Do you even know who you’re talking to? Do you know who my daddy is?”

The guard looked past you at Jensen. “Sir, you need to take her out of here.”

“Don’t you talk over me!” You dug your hand in your purse. “I’m calling daddy right now, you are going to be so fired.”

He rolled his eyes and moved to grab your arm when you pulled the syringe out of your purse and plunged it into his neck. He let out a hiss and slumped against the wall. You pulled his gun out of the holster and whipped the other guard across the face with it before he had a chance to reach for his radio.

“Wait, was that not a real kiss?” Jensen asked with a confused look on his face. He stared at the two guards lying on the floor, his brain trying to catch up with everything that just happened.

“Oh my god, Jensen, get your head in the game.” Aisha scolded through the comms.

“Help me get them into the closet.” You hissed at him after you managed to gag and hogtie both of them.

“Right.” You shoved the guards into the tiny storage area and forced the door closed. Jensen moved to the key pad and connected it to his phone, a look of concentration coming over his face as he got to work.

You rolled your neck loosely as you waited and in less than a minute he made a small triumphant noise.

“Jensen comes in in the clutch and the crowd goes wild!” He made a noise like cheers in a stadium and put his hand up to give you a high five.

You opened the door to the server room and headed in, leaving him hanging. You heard him slap his own hand before he followed you. “So serious.” You heard him whisper over the comms. “ ‘Good job Jensen. And by the way that kiss was amazing, let’s do it again.’ “

“We can hear you, idiot.” Aisha said in your ears, her tone dripping with annoyance.

“Oops.”

“Where’s the server we want?” You asked him over your shoulder.

“This way.” He led you down an aisle to your right before arriving at the server you needed, pulling a small tablet out of his tux jacket and connecting it. “This should just take a few minutes.”

“Great.”

“So, um, how do you know Aisha?” he said, trying to fill the silence.

“High school.” You said flatly.

“Oh, really? That long?”

“No.”

“Of course not. She mentioned something about Finland?”

“Yep.”

“So, snowy there, huh?”

“Sure is.”

“Oook.” He felt horribly awkward. He knew he had no game, but dealing with women like you and Aisha really cemented that. He turned his concentration back to the algorithm that was running and started singing Bon Jovi to himself.

You rolled your eyes. You couldn’t believe Aisha worked with this man-child. He must be a genius with computers for her to put up with this bullshit. Granted, he filled out that tux real nice; his broad shoulders stretching the back of the jacket in a titillating way before his torso narrowed in an almost perfect V to his hips. The jacket covered it some, but you could tell he had a nice ass under the slacks as well. Maybe she kept him around for the eye candy.

“Wanted, wantehehed, dead or alive! And done!” He finished up, disconnecting from the server and turning to give you another goofy grin.

You smirked at him and started to head back out of the room.

“Was that an almost smile, Y/N?” he said teasingly behind you. “Are you warming up to me?”

“Please stop talking,” You told him half-heartedly, too mentally exhausted to really scold him.

You turned the corner and ran into three armed guards. You all stared at each other for a second before they drew their guns and brought them up to fire.

You shoved Jensen behind the servers and dove after him as bullets started ricocheting everywhere.

“We’re blown, Aisha! We need an exit.”

“Shit, hold them down while I work something out.”

“Got it. You armed, Jensen?” You looked at him as you slipped out of your heels.

“Fuck, no. I was worried a gun would ruin the lines of my tux.”

“That is so fucking stupid.” You hissed. Of course, you hadn’t brought a gun either, but that was because you knew the venue’s security measures would have gone into hyper drive if you had gotten caught with one. You shoved your shoes into Jensen’s arm along with your purse as you pulled out a ceramic blade from under your skirt.

“Where were you keeping that?” Jensen asked you, eyes bulging as he tried to imagine where you could have been storing the giant knife in your skintight dress.

You gave him a grunt as you edged your way between the servers slowly, moving closer to the gunman as they shuffled forward, continuing to fire at the two of you.

You reached the server next to the nearest gunman and shot your arm out to knock the gun out of his hand. You brought a knee up into his diaphragm and plunged your knife in between his shoulders and then his neck, slipping back between the servers as he dropped to the floor.

The other two guards seemed to remember suddenly that they were in a room full of delicate computer equipment and they stowed their weapons, dropping into fight ready stances as they tried to determine where you were.

You shot out like a whip, punching the first guard in the gut then the throat and grabbing him around the waist to tackle him. You used the momentum to carry you forward and delivered a scorpion kick to the other man’s face, making him stagger back into the servers, clutching his nose. The first man wasn’t going down, so you released him and sprung off one leg to push off a server wall and whip the opposite foot around to drive into his face hard, sending him sprawling as you landed on one knee beside him, plunging your knife into his chest.

“Jesus, Jensen what’s happening?” Aisha yelled over the comms.

“Uhh, Y/N is kicking some serious ass.” Jake watched you stand up slowly from the second body, spinning your knife through your fingers as you turned to face your final opponent.

“Well both of you need to get to the skylight ASAP for extraction, Pooch’ll be there with a chopper in exactly one minute.”

“Got it. You get that, Y/N?”

“Yeah, just a second.” You jumped up to grab one of the pipes running along the ceiling and wrapped your thighs around the guard’s neck, squeezing him hard enough to cut off blood and oxygen to his brain. You didn’t notice him draw a knife of his own from a sheath at his thigh.

Jake hissed when he saw and grabbed the gun the first guard had dropped, shooting your opponent three times in his chest before he had a chance to slash across your femoral artery. You landed on your feet as he dropped between your legs.

“Nice shot.” You told Jake, giving him an approving nod as the two of you started to jog to the extraction point.

“Aww, shucks.” Jake groaned internally at that, not wanting to think about how stupid he sounded.

“We’re here.” You told Aisha over the comm.  “How exactly is Pooch getting us out of here? There’s no room on the roof for a chopper.”

“He’s going to drop you a line.”

“Great.” The skylight was purely for show, there was no way to open it. You pushed Jake back and took the gun from him when you heard chopper blades, and shot the glass out of the window.

A rope dropped through the opening immediately and Jake wrapped his right leg and arm through it before holding you to him with his left arm.

“Hi.” He said sheepishly as he looked at you. “Wait, weren’t there guards on the roof?”

You didn’t get a chance to answer as the two of you were lifted into the air as the chopper took off. You heard gunfire and saw muzzle flashes before you were exposed to the open air.

A bullet ripped through the air less than 6 inches from your face and Jake swore. “Don’t drop me.” You told him as you started firing at the guards on the roof, making sure to pick your shots carefully so you didn’t waste any bullets.

Once you were safely out of gun range, someone in the chopper started pulling the two of you up. Jake gave a melodramatic sigh once the two of you were safely inside, laying back against the floor, still holding you to him, before he let out a whoop and sat up quickly, releasing you. He watched you with one of those ridiculous grins on his face as you settled yourself into one of the seats.

“That was exciting!” He said giddily. “Cougar, you should have seen it. Y/N took out three guys with guns with just a knife and, like, her legs.”

You couldn’t help it, that damn smile of his was too infectious. Your lips curled up slightly as he narrated the fight to a disinterested Cougar, leaning you head back against the chopper. The idiot had grown on you.

“And, hoo, when you kicked that one guy in the face, while you were tackling the other guy. Man, that was fucking ace!” He finished up his narration as you landed back at the warehouse.

Clay and Aisha greeted you when you landed. Aisha let out a deep breath once she saw to two of you step out of the chopper, tension leaving her body.

“You two get it done?” Clay asked.

“We sure did, boss! Backdoor is open for us anytime!” Jake said excitedly.

“Perfect, let’s all get some drinks.”

“Glad you’re ok, Y/N.” Aisha said, handing you a shot of tequila when you arrived at the basic bar set up.

“Well, we’re officially even now.” You told her around a grin before tossing back your shot and pouring another.

“Don’t worry, I won’t ask you for any more favors.” She said through a smile of her own.

“Aw, c’mon, Aisha. The two of us make a pretty killer team! I think she should maybe join our little loser club!” Jensen draped an arm around your shoulder. He had undone his bowtie and the top few buttons of his shirt, exposing a light dusting of dark hair at the top of his chest. He looked down at you and gave you a grin and a wink.

Well, fuck.

You slammed your second shot back, nodded to Aisha, and pulled Jake by his wrist to follow you to one of the side rooms of the warehouse as he gave you a look of confusion.

“Have fun, you two. Don’t break him, Y/N!” You heard Aisha call behind you.

“Um, what are we doing?” Jake asked as you pulled the door to one of the storage rooms closed behind you.

“Stop talking, before I change my mind.” You told him, placing a finger over his lips as you slid his tux jacket off his shoulders.

You stepped into him, your body pressing him into the door as you brought his face to yours for a kiss before he could start babbling again. You teased at his lips with your teeth before running your tongue around the cushion of his bottom lip and he opened himself to you, groaning into your mouth. He kneaded his hands into your hips, pulling you against him close. You felt him starting to harden through his pants and gave him a sigh before you started moving your mouth down his jaw to his neck as you started to unbutton his shirt.

“Shit.” He murmured as you lightly sucked against his pulse point, drawing a soft bruise against his skin as your hands finished their work on his buttons and he shrugged his shirt off. You stepped back to let him remove his undershirt too and gave a moan when his torso was fully exposed, running your fingers over his abs lightly before pressing your palms against the plain of his chest.

“Mmm, who knew you were packing all this under here sweetie.” You murmured before moving your mouth back to his neck before you started slowly traveling south.

“Um, Y/N? Is this just like, a post-mission type thing? Or what?” His voice cracked when your tongue ran over his nipple as you tweaked the other. You kept moving down his abs until you reached the top of his pants and started to undo his belt, kneeling in front of him. “Not that there’s any pressure, or anything, just curio-- mmph.”

You had slipped your panties off as he chattered away and shoved them in his mouth before you went back to undoing his fly.

“Seriously, Jake, you need to shut the fuck up.” You pulled his zipper down finally, and drew his pants and boxers down his legs so they pooled around his ankles.

You gave yourself a little hum as you examined his cock. His swollen head was already leaking pre-cum before you had even touched him. You spat in your hand before wrapping it around his impressive length, giving him a few pumps as you lapped soft kitten licks over his slit. He gave a groan from deep in his chest and leaned his head back against the door, thumping his fist against it at his side.

You took the head of his cock in your mouth and hummed around it, causing him to twitch before you moved him further in and slowly back out, repeating the process to take him a little further into your mouth with each bob of your head.

Jake was using all his concentration to keep from coming 30 seconds into a blowjob like a chump. The tangy taste of your arousal was on his tongue as he bit down on your panties, which wasn’t helping. When you started breathing through your nose and relaxed your throat to swallow around him though, he was lost.

He let out a muffled groan and pressed a hand to the back of your head when he bucked his hips and shot his release down your throat.

You let his softening dick slide out of your mouth as you wiped a small amount of drool from around your mouth with your fingertips. You drew yourself up to your feet and plucked your now saliva soaked panties from his mouth before pulling him in for another kiss.

“Was that good for you, honey?” You asked, giving him a wicked smile as he rested his forehead against yours, panting as he came down from his orgasm.

“Fuck, yeah, that was good.” He said, kissing you again as his big hands pressed into the small of your back before moving their way up to your shoulders.

He slid the shoulders of your gown down your arms slowly and then down your hips once your arms were free. You stepped out of it as it pooled on the ground and he turned you suddenly until he had you pinned against the wall.

Jake took a step back and drank you in. He ran his hand over your hips and up your abdomen until he was cupping your breasts, gently running his thumbs over your nipples until they were raised to sensitive peaks.

“Mmhm, pretty girl.” He murmured as he palmed your breasts, making you gasp. “I’m gonna make you feel good too, baby.”

He removed his glasses and set them on the table behind him before stepping into you and curling his thick fingers over your mound. You bit your lip and moaned as he teased his way between your soft folds, brushing his fingers through the arousal at your entrance as he sank to his knees.

He pushed your lips apart gently, then dragged his tongue over your slit heavily, causing your knees to buckle when he found your clit. He moved one of your legs over his shoulder to keep you from falling as he started licking small circles over the tiny bud.

He shook his head from side to side to press himself deeper into you before sucking gently, making you cry out. His tongue entered your canal and he started to alternate between fucking you with it, and sucking on your clit.

You felt your core tightening as your orgasm built and you ground yourself into Jake’s face, begging him for more. He wrapped his lips around you tightly and sucked hard, and you felt the coil in your belly snap as you screamed his name and your release gushed all over his mouth and chin. You kept grinding against him as you came down and once you had finally finished, he gave you a wicked grin from between your legs before rising back up to kiss you.

You felt your desire stirring again already when you tasted yourself on his tongue and you let out a heavy sigh. He pressed himself into your front and lifted you until you could wrap your legs around his waist. He pressed his face into the hollow of your throat and softly nipped at the skin there. You gave a soft whine and gripped the back of his neck.

“You good with me fucking you against the wall, sweetheart?” He asked against your neck.

“Oh, fuck, yes.” You said breathlessly as he continued nuzzling you softly.

He kept you propped against the wall as he moved a hand between the two of you to line up at your entrance. You felt his tip brush against your folds and let out a sigh, trying to grind yourself into him.

He pulled his head up and gave you one of those grins before lowering you slowly onto his length. You moaned as you stretched over him until he was fully seated in you.

Jake gave a grunt and braced one hand against the wall before he started moving his hips, fucking his cock up into you roughly. His breath was hot against your neck as he panted in time with his thrusts, making you whimper softly in his ear.

“God, sweetheart, you’re so tight. This pussy feels so good.”

He started to pick up the pace then. You screwed your eyes shut and tilted your head back with a low moan, loving the full feeling he was giving you in this position. Jake lifted his head to look at you and watch as you took his cock, your tits bouncing each time he drove up into you. He bent his face down to nuzzle against them and you gasped as he drew his tongue over your nipple.

His cock was hitting your sweet spot each time and the position you were in had him rubbing right against your clit. You could feel yourself building towards an orgasm fast and dug your nails into the muscles of his back.

He felt you starting to flutter and clench around him and picked up the pace, adjusting the hand he had holding you up so your hips tilted just a bit and that small change sent you over the edge.

“Fuck, baby, that’s it!” You cried as every muscle in your body tightened and vibrated while your pleasure released violently. Jake kept his relentless pace up as you rode it out and you sagged against him when you came down.

You felt his hips start to stutter and then his dick was twitching inside of you, his cum filling you up until it was leaking out around his cock.

“Fuck, sorry.” He murmured against your hair as he held you to him. “I meant to pull out.”

You lifted his head up and slowly unwrapped yourself from him, placing your feet on the floor gently and almost collapsing on your shaky legs.

“That’s ok baby.” You said, giving him a reassuring pat on the cheek. You gave him a hungry kiss, painting the inside of his mouth with your tongue before whispering in his ear, “I love feeling your cum leaking out of my cunt.”

He gave a laugh that was on the hysterical side as you started to slip your gown back on. He was sliding into his pants when you turned back to him, and he gave you a sheepish grin. He found your panties as he was drawing his shirt off the ground and tried to hand them to you.

“Oh, sweetie, you keep those.” You told him with a throaty chuckle. “They can be a little souvenir.”

Fuck, that’s hot. He thought to himself as he tucked them into his back pocket.

“So, should we do this again sometime?” He asked awkwardly, not knowing what to say to you now. He definitely wanted to do it again. He wanted to do it a lot. But he was worried this was just a quick fling for you, a release after a stressful mission.

“Aww, puppy.” You pouted playfully at him. “We’ll do it again. Those stupid grins of yours have grown on me. I don’t think I have it in me to break your heart.”

He gave you one of those signature grins now as he pressed himself into your back and nuzzled in your hair. You whipped the door open and held his hand as you led him out to a chorus of whistles and catcalls, and he wore that stupid grin all night.

Permanent Tags:

@drabblewithfrannybarnes​

[local-triggerhead]

[Theory/Analysis] The Motives of Each Eugenicist

Wow, look at me rising from the graves and dusting off this account after 800 years like it's nothing. Your Trigger hype beast is back baby, if any of you still remember me.

This post contains spoilers for both Gridman and Dynazenon.

Ahem. I want to make this post to gather my thoughts and better understand the antagonists of the show, as they aren't heavily featured and explored like Akane. It's just my own analysis based on what I can observe in the show, so some parts would be more vague and generate different interpretations. This analysis may seem obvious to some and not so much to others, but I hope it'll offer some clarity regardless. Tl;dr at the bottom.

The General Motive

It's pretty much given in the show. The Kaiju Eugenicists wanted to destroy humanity and create a world where themselves and kaiju can live and be accepted. They believe that the world is a better place as you're no longer being tied down by human bonds, granting you unrestricted freedom beyond even the laws of physics. This is their shared goal. However, each of them have separated purposes and things they want to achieve along with this.

Onija

Let's start with the 2 more obvious cases. Onija clearly stated what he wanted to do - kill all humans. How many times did he yell this out? It's kind of shoved-in-your-face. No other Eugenicists expressed this desire as strongly as he did. At the base level, he simply wanted to live. He was brutally killed once and was determined to not let it happen again no matter what. This is why "I thought I was dead" was a constant running joke. It's also why Onija had a deep personal grudge towards Gauma and humans, who were the cause of his death 5000 years ago.

Juuga

Juuga had a deep admiration for Gauma and looked up to him. Unlike Onija, he didn't wish to oppose Gauma, but to make an alliance instead. When the Eugenicists first appeared, Juuga said:

It's clear from this line that he wanted things to be the way it was 5000 years ago, where they were a group of friends working towards the same goal. He missed and yearned for that carefree time. The original Eugenicist group was the most important thing to him. You can see that he never fought with any other Eugenicists, but remained calm and passive towards them at all times. This attitude only extended towards the Eugenicists, as he had no qualms about killing anyone else for his goal, including the Dynazenon crew.

Even when Mujina stole Dyna Striker, the first thing that came to his mind was using it to negotiate with Gauma and get him back.

Mujina

These last 2 Eugenicists are slightly more complicated to pick apart, as they process things more internally.

At first, Mujina was very indecisive and didn't buy much into this kaiju thing. All she wanted was to finish it quickly so she could leave. She was lost in life and just followed the other Eugenicists around because she had no directions of her own. Then Mujina found Koyomi, someone who also didn't have anything going for himself and just plainly a loser in his life. He was someone she could feel related to. Mujina's attitude supposedly changed after she was tackled by Koyomi, but I believe this just pissed her off and only played a part in her personality shift. The other cause, I think, was Sizumu's encouragement, where she "realized that kaiju is all [she has] got" and that she had to take responsibility for her actions.

Koyomi came to play a major role in episode 11, when Mujina witnessed him starting to look for a job. The only person who she could feel related to was unaffected by the aftermath of the kaiju and moving forward with ease. Meanwhile, Mujina, who had just found her purpose in life, lost it once again and was now completely stuck, as the future where the Eugenicists could live and be accepted was destroyed. When facing such a crisis, one would seek to put the blame on something for all of their problems, and Koyomi just happened to be the perfect target.

Sizumu

Toughest one to crack here, but I'll shoot my best shot. In the beginning, he opposed the Dynazenon crew the least among the Eugenicists. He suggested against killing them, had the most interaction with Yomogi and Yume, and suggested Mujina to return Dyna Striker for seemingly no reasons at all. His main reason for not killing Team Dynazenon was to see more kaiju, and getting close to Yomogi and Yume was for his kaiju to absorb their emotions. However, I believe there was another underlying reason that tied his actions together. He was looking for an alliance.

Contrary to Juuga, the alliance he was looking for didn't only include Gauma, but Team Dynazenon as a whole. To understand why he searched for this, we must first look at what he was. He had an ability that allowed him to hear kaiju voices, which gave him a much deeper understanding of kaiju compared to the other Eugenicists. Due to this, while the others more or less thought of kaiju as a mean to create a world where they can live and be accepted, Sizumu would consider kaiju as his own kind, so much so that he had a severe disconnection with humans. He distanced himself away from even the Eugenicists, almost as if he only tagged along because they shared the same basic goal.

He didn't seek to understand humans, but instead for humans to understand kaiju. His goal was to create a world where not only the Eugenicists were accepted, but kaiju themselves were accepted. He believed that the world was better off like this, because, from his perspective, kaiju could liberate people from human bonds and offer them unlimited freedom. To me, this is rather hypocritical as he never understood why people tied themselves to these bonds in the first place, so he wasn't in a position to say what was better and what wasn't.

Sizumu was the only Eugenicist to mention this kaiju power and express his distaste towards human bonds. He explained this very early on to Yomogi and Yume, and why did he do this, you may ask? Why, to help them understand his views and create an opening for a potential alliance, of course. If his only purpose was to absorb their emotions, then that's quite a lot of unnecessary effort to make himself look friendly and approachable to an uncanny degree, especially when being "friendly and approachable" wasn't his forte. No, he was testing the water to see if he could get them on his side.

Then came an unexpected opportunity for him to determine once and for all if Team Dynazenon can understand and accept kaiju. He let a failed kaiju run free and distracted the Eugenicists away from it (with a tactic he learned from Chise) to see what the Dynazenon crew would do. Some people said that it's to test if any of them were kaiju user, and while that's possible, I think it's a little unlikely. Sizumu only observed them at 2 instances, first was when they started the search for the kaiju, the second was when their beam destroyed the kaiju. Unless the kaiju voices could tell him, there would be no way for Sizumu to know if any of them used Instance Domination, until the very end when Yomogi used it on him. The likelier hypothesis would be: he saw them searching for the kaiju > he saw the kaiju being killed > he surmised that kaiju couldn't exist peacefully with Team Dynazenon, and didn't seem to be particularly happy about it.

From then on, Sizumu decided that they couldn't be his allies thus no longer approached Yomogi or Yume. It seems that he arrived to this final conclusion:

And this is where the series itself left off. Kaiju simply can't co-exist with humans. They are irregulars to the human society. Furthermore, the freedom that they offer can't be allowed to exist as running away from society and real human connections is wrong, even if reality is ugly and difficult to face. This is what make the series similar to Gridman. However, unlike Akane, the antagonists of Dynazenon failed to realized this and didn't get their happy ending.

(A detail that I'd like to mention is that Sizumu was silent during the entire final battle in contrast to the other Eugenicists who were pumping themselves up. It was like he was saying, "Didn't want to do this but I guess you left me with no choice". Though silence can mean anything so it's not a concrete evidence.)

TL;DR and Final Words

This is so much longer than I thought and I really apologize for it. I just don't want to make anyone do logical leaps when reading this post.

Tl;dr:

- Onija wanted to live and had a grudge towards Gauma and humans for causing his death.

- Juuga wanted Gauma to join them again and for things to be back the way it was 5000 years ago. He cared for nothing outside of the Eugenicists group.

- Munija wanted a purpose, found one, then lost it again. She envied Koyomi for regaining his sense of purpose and moving forward with his life.

- Sizumu wanted humans to understand kaiju and a world where kaiju can set humans free from their bonds. Initially considered an alliance with Team Dynazenon, but concluded that them (and people in general) couldn't understand kaiju after all.

- Final message of the show: Go touch some grass and talk to humans you fucking weebs.

Misc

When using Instance Domination, the palms of the Eugenicists always face towards the kaiju. The only exception is the last battle where Sizumu's palm faced towards himself, indicating that the kaiju was inside him. I believe that it was located at the center of his chest, where he shot out that weird magical light beam. Just a small thing I find interesting.

If we want to take it a step further, I believe the seed inside him had already grown into a kaiju, but it was still relatively small until he used Instance Domination on it. Eerie, huh?

And this is more of the theory territory and leaving the analysis, but this could possibly be why he was able to hear kaiju voices. Chise was able to understand Goldburn and translated for him at the end, so maybe having a kaiju inside of you would allow you to understand other kaiju somehow? If this is the case, he would probably have had the kaiju inside of him since 5000 years ago.

There's also this big brain moment from a 4chan user. The resemblance between Yume and Juuga is kinda uncanny considering they're both obsessed with the past.

That's it boys. I'm gonna crawl back into my hole until next century, or until Trigger drops Edgerunners. 8/10 show, VERY underrated gem. Trigger won't stop saving anime.

This post but on Reddit:

[tonesplash]

WAP

pairing: edward cullen x reader

a/n: yall asked for it lol

warnings: reader is a scammer, possible tw for heifer being used as a term of endearment, suggestive themes

You had been working on your splits for months now in preparation. You'd been entirely content keeping your online presence separate from your small town one.

That was, until Lauren Fucking Mallory posted that stupid video shaking her boney white ass, and started a wildfire of teenage girls across Forks tagging each-other to tear their hamstrings and follow the trend, all of your friends have just been entirely up your ass about it. But you thought ahead. You weren't going to make an embarrassing hospital trip anytime soon. You were a goddamned professional.

Camera recording, music ready, you prepare to blow everyone's minds with your sick dance skills. The starting high kick alone should qualify you for the Olympics—the drop? Immaculate.

Your ass is all over the place in the best way possible, and you nearly lose your concentration, thinking of all the free food you're going to get from the lonely losers at your school. Mike SIMPton’s wallet doesn't stand a chance.

But of course, life can never be fair, right as you finish busting it open for the gods and victoriously slam down into a split—Edward bursts in like someone was screaming bloody murder.

”Um, I know I gave you a key but have you ever heard of KNOCKING?" You put your hands on your hips as best you can with your legs at a complete one-eighty.

"Why are you thinking about Mike Newton?" he spits the name like its poison on his tongue. "while doing that."

"I like how you coming in like that could've distracted me and caused me to literally split myself in half, but alright, let's be concerned about Mike Newton's life savings." You roll your eyes as you carefully move out of your split to give your legs a break. How his priorities could be so out of whack at a time like this was beyond you.

Edward moves to help you up when he notices your phone propped up to record.

"...Were you recording for that dance that's been tripling adolescent hospital visits before I came in?" He reviews your work with a thoughtful expression before tapping around the screen like a man on a mission.

"Uh yeah, what does it look like I was doing?" You clear your bed of everything previously on the floor and in your shot as you wait for him to finish. It's kind of hard to have shame when your boyfriend is a psychic, so you let him look for whatever he needs at the moment.

Edward smiles a bit guiltily at the screen before he speaks.

"You're too late. They've all moved on to the anaconda remix."

"You're kidding." You toss the last shoe off the duvet and rush over to see what he's pulled up. Low and behold, Eric Yorkie is doing is damndest to keep up with Angela in the school's darkroom.

"Wow. I told Alice I was doing this TODAY at lunch. That little heifer didn't think to tell me?" You look up at him incredulously for validation, but he's gone back to co-opting your cellphone. Edward turns the screen away for a moment and then slides your phone into his back pocket and turns to you before you can protest.

"Before you ask, I'm not going to do that dance with you." His hands ghost down your arms as he speaks

to link your hands together and kiss them. You follow the movement, temporarily distracted.

"When did you learn to do the splits?

***

Facedown in your mattress after your impromptu chiropractic appointment, Edward is downstairs, chatting up your mother on his way from fetching you a glass of water when your phone buzzes from his designer khakis on the floor.

You could scream at what you find.

[writethelifeyouwant]

Dive Bar, Ch. 1/?

Pairing: Dean x OFC (Dany) x Sam (brief), Dean x Sam (eventually)  Rating: 18+ Prompt/Summary: @spnkinkbingo square - Gay Panic (eventually, I don’t know how to write short things, so the gay panic comes later). Dany and Dean hit it off at a bar and Dean is confident it’s a sure thing. But Dean doesn’t know that Dany’s has a dare to complete, and he definitely didn’t imagine his night would end with his pull inviting his little brother to come home with them too.  WC: 3278 Tags: alcohol, cheesy flirting, tags will change next chapter 😉😏🍆 A/N: Okay, let’s be real. Anyone who knows me by now, knows I can’t fucking cut to the chase. Welcome to part one of who knows how many. If you want the smut quickly, I encourage begging 🤣(and so does Sam 😏) Ambience: Really want to set the mood? Welcome to a dive bar in Nowheresville, USA: Playlist and Ambience 

***

Sam told Dean he was crazy for even trying but Dean had a sense about these things; Sam didn’t. He was too considerate. Sam thought the fact she was out with her girlfriends meant she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t want to be bothered, but Dean knew better. The ones who went up to get the next rounds were the ones who were looking to be bothered. They were separating themselves from the pack on purpose, to give guys the opportunity to pick them up and show them a good time. They wanted to prove to their friends that they were desirable. It wasn’t a bad confidence boost either, even if the guys that came on to them weren’t what they were after. 

So, when the girl with the flirty eyelashes that had been staring over at Sam and Dean’s table for the past half-hour spun off her stool and went to lean against the unpleasantly sticky bar, Dean knew his window had opened. 

“Watch and learn Sammy,” Dean smirked and slapped Sam’s shoulder as he sauntered over to his target, fixing his best smoulder in place. 

The girl felt movement behind her when Dean slid up and motioned to the bartender that he was after another round, and she turned with a coy but almost predatory twitch to her smile. She knew exactly who was behind her. 

“Hi there,” Dean was almost leering at the girl. 

*

Across the room, Sam was resisting the urge to put his head in his hands and pretend he’d never met his brother. This was gonna be a train wreck. At the very least, Dean was about to end up with one of those margaritas the bartender was laying down in front of her thrown in his face. 

Deciding to spare himself the second-hand embarrassment of watching Dean crash and burn with the coed he’d been eyeing since they arrived, Sam let his eyes wander the rest of the bar absentmindedly. He was nursing his second beer of the evening, after pounding back his first one with Dean in their stupid post-hunt ritual. 

It was new, their whole ‘who can down their beer the quickest’ routine. Before Stanford, Sam was lucky if his dad let him split a beer with them after a hunt, let alone chug one. But ever since he and Dean had been back on the road, it was like Dean was trying to make up for a bit of lost time, and things that absolutely smacked of immaturity were becoming part of how they lived their lives. Like how now, after a successful hunt, they always raced to the bottom of the first beer bottle, leaving the loser to buy the rounds for the rest of the night. 

When Dean started it, it was because he figured he obviously had the upper hand. He had years more drinking experience than Sammy, and there was no way the little geek had drunk that much at college.

What Dean didn’t know is that, for a while there, Sam and his friends had gone through a bit of a mental breakdown that manifested itself in endless parties, borderline alcoholism, and a very brief experimentation with some drugs on the ‘gateway’ end of the spectrum. Really, it was Sam’s best friend Brady pushing all of that, but with how he had grown up, Sam felt he was due some kind of breakdown, and it had felt good to let go for a little while. So, when Sam beat Dean in that first chugging contest, it became a whole different ball game. Now every time they did it, Dean was defending his honor. And he defended it about half the time but that night, Sam had won. 

Exhaling quietly in amusement at the absurdity of their routine, Sam spared a glance back towards Dean at the bar. He quickly ducked his head down when he realised Dean and the girl were looking over at him, like Dean was talking about him. Why would you spend time telling the girl you’re trying to bang about your weird kid brother? Maybe she had asked who Dean was there with, just making small talk. 

Yeah, that must be it, Sam thought to himself as he took another swig and realised he’d finished it on the sip before.

Torn between wanting another drink and not wanting to walk into the middle of a Dean Winchester flirt fest, Sam tried to quietly observe his brother again, hoping he would have struck out by now and it would be safe to approach. Peeking out from behind his hair Sam could see them leaning against the high wooden bar quite cozily, and laughing all nice and friendly-like. 

Damn. It looked like Dean was gonna be right about this chick; she was into him. Really, she shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone’s into Dean. And now he was gonna have to sleep in the Impala tonight. For once he’d like to just have a drink with his brother and go home (to the motel) and sleep in his own (motel) bed. Just perfect. 

*

When Dany turned around to acknowledge Dean, who had just sidled up behind her at the bar, she was very pleased with herself. 

Guys are just too simple, she mused. 

“Hi there,” Dean smiled down at her (he was considerably taller, despite her heels), charm turned on full blast. 

“Hey yourself,” she smiled back. She was friendly, but careful not to be too forward. Dean was the kind of guy that felt proud of winning the chase, she could just tell. And considering how forward she was planning on being after she made sure this guy wasn’t an axe-murderer, she figured playing coy for a little wouldn’t hurt. 

“So, this is kind of embarrassing,” Dean leaned down conspiratorially but still had to speak quite loudly to be heard above the noise of the bar. “My brother over there is a little shy.” Dean jerked his head behind him, to indicate where he had left Sam a moment before. 

Taken by surprise, Dany leaned back to look at Sam sitting alone at his high-top, who happened to look over at the two of them at the same time. Sam quickly ducked behind his bangs, trying very hard not to make eye contact. Dany giggled to herself. She had figured this guy was about to chat her up but he was over here asking for his brother who, based on his reaction a second ago, definitely was shy. How cute. 

“And,” Dean continued speaking and pulled Dany back from her thoughts of his shy and cute younger brother, “he wanted me to ask you for your number, so he knows how to get a hold of me tomorrow morning.” 

It took a second, but when the penny dropped Dany burst out laughing. Dean beamed, proud of his choice in pick-up lines, and let Dany get the giggles out of her system. “I know, I’m adorable.” Dean shrugged as if to say ‘what can you do?’ and leant back against the bar, bringing himself closer to Dany’s level. “I’m Dean.” He held out his hand and she took it, still stifling the last of her laughter. 

“Well, let me congratulate you on your originality Dean. I genuinely have not heard that one before.”

“Do I get a prize?” Dean’s eyebrows arched cheekily. 

“I don’t know,” Dany shrugged. “What do I get out of this deal?”

“Sweetheart, you get whatever you want.” 

“How about we start with a drink?” 

“Sure your friends won’t mind me taking up all your time?” 

Dany looked behind her to where she’d left her friends. They were all giggling and looking at her and Dean at the bar but trying to look like they weren’t paying attention to them at all. She shook her head despairingly at how unsubtle they were. Her friends were the worst. But she supposed they had more of a vested interest in how her night went than usual. Tonight was her dare night. 

“I think they can live without me for a little while.” 

*

“Wow, you’re really putting ‘em back sweetheart,” Dean laughed as Dany drained another beer. She was matching him round for round. 

“Well, I came out to have a good time tonight,” Dany shrugged, smiling mischievously. 

“How’s that working out for ya’ so far?”

“I’d say, so far so good, Dean.” 

Dean made finger guns at the empty glasses. “Get you another?” 

“Yeah, thanks,” she grinned as tucked her hair behind her ear. 

Dean rocked up to the bar and motioned to the haggard looking student behind it that he was after refills. When something brushed against his shoulder he jumped, reaching under his jacket until he realised it was just Sam. 

“Hey,” Dean drew out the ‘y’ on the end of his word. “Ma’ man Sam.” Dean smacked Sam’s shoulder and his brother tried to tamp down his bemused grimace. 

“How buzzed are you, dude?”

“Just the right amount Sammy,” Dean grinned wolfishly as he accepted the new beers from the bartender. The kid tried to take Sam’s order but Sam brushed him off. “Woah, you’re not tapping out?” Dean’s concern was almost comical. 

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go back to the motel. Grab some shut eye.” Sam tried to sound sage, like he was making this move because it was the smart, responsible thing to do, and not let on that it was his loneliness driving him home too early for Dean’s approval. 

“No, come on man, I’m not letting you be a sap tonight.” Dean waved over to the bartender for another beer, over Sam's objections. “N- listen. You’re gonna take this beer, bring it over to my table with Dany, and we’re gonna pick you out one of her friends.” Again, Sam tried to protest but there was a cold glass sloshing into his hand and a commanding grip on his shoulder and… he was always gonna follow Dean. “They’re all college chicks Sam. One of them has gotta be geeky enough for you.” 

When Sam got dragged to the edge of the table where Dean had left Dany a moment ago, something felt off. Sure he felt a little awkward becoming the third wheel while Dean sealed the deal on his sleeping arrangements for that evening but that wasn’t what he noticed the most. Dany looked far too happy to have the extra company at the table. Most girls with Dean in their tractor beams didn’t want anyone interfering, he’d been on that end of the stick one too many times to forget how it felt. But Dany was relaxed and smiling, beaming even, when Dean pushed Sam into a chair between them. 

Sam tried to settle into the easy conversation that Dany and Dean were having but he’s too preoccupied trying to suss Dany out to contribute much, despite Dany’s attempts to bring him into the discussion. 

“So Sam, Dean said you were the college goer in your family, what did you study?” Dany sipped her beer with her eyes trained on Sam. 

“Uh, pre-law,” Sam’s answer turned up at the end like a question. He wasn’t questioning what he studied at Stanford but he was questioning Dany’s motives in talking to him. Why wasn’t she just ignoring him and flirting with Dean? 

“Ah, smart guy. Interesting.” 

“What are you studying?” 

“Media and communications. I want to go into news or television.” 

“Well you definitely have the face for it,” Dean cut in smoothly. Dany flushed but she didn’t look embarrassed. She knew what she looked like. 

“Okay captain obvious,” Dany laughed. “You usually try this hard to get girls?”

Sam snorted into his beer, highly amused someone was calling Dean on his shit besides him. 

“Well I’m sitting here drinking with a beautiful woman. I don’t see any reason to pull punches,” Dean grinned. “Speaking of,” he leant forward craftily, “you got any other beautiful friends we can hook him up with?” Dean jerked his thumb towards his little brother. “I feel bad leaving him high and dry for the night.” 

“Dean!” Sam objected loudly, rolling his eyes. Dany just giggled. 

“Yeah I think I can help with that.” She drained her remaining drink and stood up. “Let me grab us one more round.” 

“Sounds great sweetheart,” Dean swatted at her ass as she passed him on the way back to the bar, ignoring Sam’s further objections to Dean’s new-found mission to get him laid. 

“Dude what are you doing?” 

“Helping you!”

“I don’t want your help!”

“Well trust me, you need it.”

“Do not!”

Sam’s objections were cut short when Dany returned with three beers and three shots on a tray; one clear and two amber. Dean reached for the drinks to help her unload. “What are we celebrating sweetheart?” He nodded to the shots. 

“We’ll find out soon,” Dany hedged, without giving up any more details. “So Sam, what’s your type?” 

Sam nearly choked on his beer. “Look Dany, ignore Dean please, I don’t need-” 

“No, come on, I’m invested now. What are you into? Boobs? Ass? Both?” Dany’s questions were curious but clinical. None of the teasing that Dean usually injected into the conversation when he tried to get Sam to open up about his sex life. Something in her tone was compelling. 

“Are we actually having this conversation?” Sam glanced between Dean and Dany astonishedly. “Did you slip something in my drink?” 

Dany laughed at Sam’s attempts to deflect but she could also see something in his face twitch, like his brows tugged up the corners of his lips. Something in him wanted to answer the question, wanted to open up to her. So she pushed. 

“Well?” 

Sam chuckled once ruefully, more to himself. Cracked his neck and settled back in his chair. Dany could tell he’d made up his mind, he was playing now. 

“Both,” Sam smirked. He was invested now too, and he wanted to see where Dany was taking this. Plus, it had been ages since he’d gotten any. 

“Okay,” Dany nodded and processed the information, deciding how that affected her line of questioning. Dean was keeping to himself in his corner, but he was having trouble hiding his grin behind his beer. This was already more than he’d ever been able to tease out of Sam. 

“Okay, so, not specific about body type, what about attitude? Feisty and forward?” Dany leant forward and trailed her finger down Sam’s arm. He smirked. “Or shy, and sweet?” She withdrew her hand, and ducked behind her hair. 

“Okay, why do I feel like I’m getting shut out here?” Dean laughed from his over his drink, not sounding as cocky as he hoped he did. 

“Don’t worry Dean, I’m not letting you go anywhere,” Dany smirked. “I’m just doing what you asked, making sure Sam here is sorted out for the night too.” Dany turned her smile back to Sam. “So which one? You like feeling in charge? Or you like getting a little roughed up like Dean over here?”

Now it was Dean’s turn to choke on his beer. “Excuse me sweetheart, what makes you think-”  

“Come on Dean,” Dany batted her eyes back in his direction. “I know what you’re after. I know you’re a boob man, that’s why you picked me. Your pick up lines and bravado, they’re looking for validation. You’re looking after your little brother, trying to make sure he’s happy, taken care of… you want someone to do the same thing for you.” 

Sam and Dean were both a little speechless. Dany reached past her empty beer and grabbed the shot glass with the clear liquor. 

“You sure you don’t actually study psychology or something?” Sam drained the last of his beer, impressed. 

“I’m not a shrink,” Dany smiled and shrugged. “I’ve just spent some time with some people, I know what to look out for.” 

“So, who are you picking out for me then?” Sam leant forward, now profoundly interested in what Dany may have deduced about what he wants in the bedroom. 

“Come clean time,” Dany knocked back her shot with a grimace and let the courage that came from lower inhibitions bubble up. “My friends and me, we play a game most weeks, pick a dare out of a hat. This week mine… was ‘have a threesome.’” Dany peeked up from behind her hair to look at Dean, who looked like he had just won the lottery. Sam’s expression was cautious. 

“Okay, so who else we taking home with us sweetheart?” Dean rubbed his hands together and turned to look back at Dany’s group of friends.  

“Sam.” Dany answered simply. 

“Which one’s Sam?” Dean was still scanning the group of coeds. 

“Uh Dean, I think she means me…” 

“My dare was a threesome with two guys.” For the first time that evening, Dany’s grin was a little sheepish. “Look I uh- I’m not just doing this because of the dare, it’s not coercion or anything. I wouldn’t be asking you both back if I didn’t want it.” 

Dean hadn’t found his voice yet. He was just staring at Dany, mind clearly running a mile a minute, and resolutely not looking at Sam. Sam, on the other hand, couldn’t take his eyes off Dean. The only recognisable emotion on Sam’s face was the tinge of fear in his eyes, like he was waiting for the bomb to go off, and getting more and more anxious by the second the longer it didn’t. 

“Why don’t I give you guys a minute to talk,” Dany stood up and pushed the shots she had bought towards them, “and I’ll go grab my purse and meet you by the door?” 

“And by ‘you’, you’re speaking in the strictly plural sense?” Sam checked, fingering the whisky in front of him. 

“That’s up to you guys,” Dany smiled and rounded the table, dragging her fingers over Dean’s shoulders on her way back to her friends. That seemed to be enough to jumpstart Dean back into speaking.

“Dude what the hell?” Dean’s voice was so, so close to a squeak, Sam really had to hold in his laughter. 

“What?” Sam was good at poking the bear. 

“What do you mean what? What the fuck?” 

“Yeah, I think that’s what she wants Dean. She wants to fuck.” 

“Yeah with me and my little brother!” Sam could tell Dean wanted to be shouting but he was keeping his voice to a hiss as best he could. 

“Yeah, so?”

“So?!” 

God Dean was so easy to wind up, Sam grinned. “Dean, have you never had a threesome before?” 

“Uh, yeah, of course.” 

“You’re lying,” Sam was astonished. He figured of course Dean would have done this kind of thing before. “You’ve never done one before?” Sam had to double check. 

“What, like you have?” Dean defended angrily. 

“Uh, yeah,” Sam’s grin was an unusual combination of sheepish but proud. “I um- I have actually, yeah.” Sam reached back and rubbed his neck, at a loss of what to do with his hands right now. 

“What the fuck did you do at that college?” 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Dean.” 

“Okay, so what, you’re saying you’re okay with this?” 

“I’m saying, there’s a real pretty girl over there by the door that wants to have sex. And she wants it so much, she wants two dicks in the equation.” Sam fixed Dean with a firm, decided stare. And he was pretty sure that Dean’s uncertainty was about to evaporate. Dean finally met Sam’s eyes and Sam saw the fight melt out of him. 

“Son of a bitch,” Dean breathed, then downed his shot.

***

Tags: @negans-lucille-tblr @hawkerz12​ @akshi8278​ @babybrotherandthedemon​ @dylansbabygirl24​ @mineshinamary​ @popsensationnicole23​ @spn-problems​ @donthateme454​  @doyouknowsamw​ @peridottea91​ @delightfulbakeryaliendeputy​ @fictionallemons​

I tagged everyone who liked my ‘announcement’ post. If you want to be tagged or you want me to take you off tags, just lmk!  

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i love you guys, just putting that out there 💕

We stan a supportive dad who hates the miya twins 💅 @lovelyvillainess idk it won’t let me tag you :(

I figured at least one of them should have an ounce of common sense lmao

Holy shit! The Miya twins meet the parents was soooooo good. I've just finished reading it and come here to gush and now I will go re-read it because wow. The tension. The feeling of dread that sinks in when you realize what reader might be in for tomorrow or the next day. But the dad is my hero!! It makes me wonder what Kita and the crew would say because they certainly saw the Miyas bullying their soulmate. We are not worthy of your genius

🥺 dfghgfhkl thank you!! But also yeah, it’s a temporary victory at best and you’re definitely gonna pay for it the next day 👀

🥺🥺🥺 go dad for having our back i feel like its rare for parents to actively support u in yan!fics so like...heart is warmed

so who wants to see daddy dearest go ham on the Miya twins and beat their asses??? 

omg ive never sent a message before but the meet the parents with the twins when her dad protected her i 🥺🥺❤️❤️

He is the only valid parent just sayin (still won’t make a difference in the long run, but at least he tried?)

I'm reading your newest drabble and came across the line, "it’s the pity he’ll give you. He thinks he ruined your life when he left (he didn’t)" I love this reader's energy lmao

Definitely not me projecting one particular ex of mine onto this fic, nope, not at all. But seriously those ex’s are the fucking worst 😒

Hi! Just popped in to say i love ur meet the parents drabble. One of my fave things about ur writing in general is how well you write dynamics between characters and that recent drabble was some good food brah. Thanks!! ❤️

ahh thank you so much, bby! 

Just passing by to say you are an absolute queen and that I love you and your writing very very much !! 💞💗❤️💖💓💘

Hi anon, i’d die for you i just wanted you to know that! 💕

Reread NFWMB again. Idk if you have watched or if your familiar with Bungoy Stray Dogs, Rhi but reading it again made me think of OdaSaku 😅 Idk, it's probably the opening line about kids. So I kind of had this screnaio in my head where Iwa's higher ups and contractors are surprised that he finally agreed to kids but what they don't know is that instead of killing them, he is taking them to the reader.

I have not watched BSD but I’ve heard about it?? it is on my ‘might fuck around one day and actually watch’ list, if i can ever stop re-watching my other faves. I did write Iwa as much more of a morally ambiguous character - he’s not gonna push an old lady in the street but he also probably wouldn’t stop somebody if he saw they were getting mugged kinda guy - obviously with the reader being the exception to that. But I do like the idea of Iwa just bringing home some kid he was supposed to kill and being like ‘this is now our child, we’re a family and i will straight up murder anyone who tries to take either of you from me’

but then i also like the idea of him seeing her be good with kids and just suddenly *breeding kink* ya know?

Okay unironicly??? Nice guy yandere Bokuto is my kink and that last piece hit the nail right on the head. Everyone is cooing that you guys are adorable together, so why does it feel so awful every time he puts his hands on you~ you cant find it in yourself to say no, but you want to get away from him as soon as possible~

Yandere Bokuto makes my heart horny and it is a straight up tragedy that I don’t have more written for him (soon, bby, dw) because he’s all soft and cuddly and needy and incessant, but the moment you start pulling too far away - oop. Now you get to play with an upset Bo 👀

For all the hard work you do, someone should write for you. Depending if you're into the really disturbed, angst, smutty kind where there are no such things as regrets. That's me. I write that stuff all the time. Keep up the great writing beautiful. What's next on your upcoming lists of fanfiction you're going to post? 💋💞😍🤗👀 Love ya! @doloresdaizhamorgan

Ahh thank you, bby! You always send the sweetest asks (and btw I hoped you liked vamp Touya!!) Next up is slasher Bokuto, Akaashi & Kuroo which I am v excited about 🔪

Hi! I was wondering how you think the yandere soulmate pairings would react to the reader favouring one over the other? Would they get jealous of the other—leading to the reader's possible escape route? Also just wanted to say I love your writing so so so much—it genuinely gives me chills in all the best ways :)

I think it would be difficult for the reader to prefer one to the other as they’re all bad in different ways. However as it’s kind of implied that both Oikawa & Iwa and Ushijima and Tendou are also each others soulmates as well, I think they’d find a way to manage it without too much drama between each of them - probably exposure therapy. Say you start to cling a little more to Ushi because Tendou’s being sadistic mean, he’ll leave the two of you to spend some ‘quality time’ together - surely you’ll be feeling better by the time he gets back (you aren’t). Or if you start showing more favouritism to Iwa because he doesn’t go as hard with his punishments, the two of them will agree that next time it’s all up to Iwa, and he’s gonna make it hurt while Oikawa will be there to take care of you afterwards.

It’s all about balance.

If its with the twins, good fucking luck. They’re already bickering over the small stuff - they’ll just take it as an excuse to lord it over the other one - which ill inevitably prompt the ‘loser’ to remind you of exactly why you should really reconsider, especially with how good he’s gonna make ya feel. Basically - it’s a tug of war with you caught in the middle. Have fun tho!

[lifesucksheres20bucks]

Reddie in the hammock 🥺

The Hammock

After what seemed like an unfinishable summer, the losers finally got a little break in their clown killing activities. Ben wanted to surprise his friends with a getaway, a place no one could reach them, not pennywise, not bowers, not anyone. Thats when he built the clubhouse. Loser’s members only! He was so proud of it and he finally got to show the losers, they were all so grateful to have a safe heaven from the outside world. They had games, comic books and a hammock. That hammock had been the subject to a couple of fights between Richie and Eddie. The smaller boy claimed that the losers agreed to 10min in the hammock per turn, however Richie claimed he never agreed to those terms.

One day, while Richie was lying in the hammock, he heard Eddie’s alarm go off. Thinking nothing of it, Richie went back to reading his comic book.

“Hey fucker! Your time in the hammock is up! It’s my turn now, get out!” Eddie yelled

Richie looked up from his comic, annoyed. “I never agreed to that Eds, I’m not moving.” He looked back down at his comic.

“Fucking hell Richie, you really don’t know how to share a place with other people huh? You’re so annoying, c’mon get up, it’s my turn!” Eddie said getting closer to Richie, his voice slightly higher in pitch.

“No.”

“UGH! You know what, fuck you I’m getting in that hammock!” Eddie said as he lightly threw himself on the hammock.

“Oh my god, Eddie! What are you doing, were going to fucking fall!” Richie shouted

“Good, fucking fall you little shit. Im staying in the hammock.” Eddie spat

“Fine!” Richie said as he started reading his comic again.

Eddie looked at Richie. He had expected more of a fight, he was ready for more of a fight. But that little shit was reading his stupid comic. He doesn't know why but he needed Richie to pay attention to him. Their bickering wasn't over.

Suddenly, Richie feels a foot hit him in the face. He knows Eddie is trying to get a rise out of him and he could not let him win. So instead, he keeps reading his comic, but he put his hand on Eddie’s leg and squeezed it, trying to make him stop. The fact that Richie hadn't looked up, only aggravated Eddie even more. He then proceeded to slip his foot under Richie’s glasses and flicked them half way across the room.

Richie just sighed, he figured this was his new normal now.

A couple of months after that summer. Eddie was at home pouring himself a glass of hot cocoa, when suddenly the phone starts ringing. He looked at the time. 9:47 pm, why would anyone be calling at this time?

“Kaspbrak residence” Eddie answered

“Eds, its me, meet me at the clubhouse in an half an hour.” Richie mumbled

“What? I can’t just-“ the line went dead.

Shit, Eddie thought. He was going to have to sneak out. Richie sounded serious and he couldn't let him down.

He went creeped up the stairs and slightly opened the door to his mother’s bedroom.

“Goodnight mommy, I’m off to bed!” Eddie said

“Who was on the phone?” She said with a concerned look.

“Oh it was Bill, he called to remind me to bring his book back.” Eddie lied

“Okay Eddie bear, goodnight.”

He quickly closed the door and headed for his room. He changed into sweatpants and a sweater and packed his fanny pack, ready for any situation. He then proceeded to slowly climb out his window and head towards the clubhouse, following little strings of tape Ben had left on trees, so the other losers wouldn't get lost. Once he got there, he could see a faint light coming from the ground. He opened the hatch and went down, slightly terrified of what awaited him. What he wasn't expecting to see was the club house illuminated with Christmas lights and Richie sitting in a sleeping bag on the hammock.

“Hiya Eds, took you long enough”. Richie let out a shaky laugh

Eddie knew something was wrong, the other boy’s tone of voice wasn't as smooth and his eyes were almost lifeless, compared to his normal, bright eyes. He quickly rushed over to his side.

“What’s wrong Richie” Eddie started looking all over, touching his arm, leg, cheek, basically looking for any sign of injury. “Are you okay, why are you crying?” Eddie’s voice was shaking.

Richie grabbed the smaller boy’s hands and held then tightly on his leg. “Im not hurt Eds, well not physically. I just got into a fight with my parents.”

“What happened” Eddie asked, unconsciously rubbing his thumb over Richie’s hand.

“Ever since last summer, I barely sleep and whenever I manage to fall asleep, I have nightmares about the stupid clown. My parents yelled at me because my grades have been going down and they want to know why. But what am I going to them tell? “Oh yeah ma, I’m sorry about that, it’s just a murderous clown tried to kill me and my friends and I haven’t been able to sleep because I’m terrified he’s going to come back and kill them.” So I played dumb and told them I didn’t know why, so they started yelling at me and i couldn't bear staying there so I called you.”

“Why me?” Eddie whispered

“Because you’re my Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie said while pinching his cheeks.

“ So what were just going to sleep on the floor?”

“No, in the hammock. You know we can both fit.” He said with a small grin.

“Okay..”

For some reason, when Richie said those words, Eddie’s heart skipped a beat. He ignored it and climbed into the hammock.

“I thought maybe you could put you head near mine. I brought some new comic books we could read together...” Richie trailed off.

“Hmm okay” Eddie changed positions and nudged himself near Richie. The boy’s had never been this close but they both felt like it was something that had needed to happen. Like they were both safe.

After reading comics for an hour or so, Richie yawned. “ Wow Eds, didn't think i would ever say this again, but I think I’m going to go sleep now.”

“Oh that’s good Richie, yeah we should just go to sleep.” Eddie started panicking, did he have to go back to their original position, on opposites sides? But before be could move, he felt arms wrap around him.

“Goodnight Eds.”

“Hmm, goodnight ‘Chee”

They both snuggled under one small sleeping bag, cuddling. Eddie head resting on Richie’s chest, falling asleep to the faint beat of his heart.

That was the first of many nights spent at the clubhouse for Richie and Eddie.

They came almost every night until their graduation, none of the other losers knew (even though, most of them suspected). It’s where they came to escape their parents, where they first confessed their love for each other (Eddie had said it first in a fit of rage against the taller boy (not exactly the way he planned it but hey, it all worked out)), where they shared their first kiss (and many other first...) it became their home. It was the place where they felt safest, where they could be themselves without having people judge their love. An escape for everyday life. Their love is built into the walls and they both know that without the clubhouse and that stupid hammock, they would not share the love they have for one another today.

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! BUT HERE IT IS I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY IT. SO MANY OF YOU LIKE MY ORIGINAL POST SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE REAL DEAL!

Perm Tag list: @eddiefuckinkaspbrak , @thepurplepanther , @topsyturvytabby, @callmechee @thoughtfullyyoungduck

tag list: @snapmyneckandcallmeloki @lostboyspidey @tyrus-is-everything

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep9 Thoughts

It’s been awhile since I’ve watched Riverdale, I’m getting bored with them going back to Varchie out of literal nowhere and I’m assuming BH will soon follow because they don’t know how to write anything else even though that’s all the show needs to be good. Look how great the show was when they were finally starting to give us Barchie…. anyways thoughts under the cut so this post doesn’t clog up the tag. Also: MANIFESTING JERONICA AND BARCHIE BYE

- Honestly a lot of people are weirded out/annoyed by the alien plot but I love aliens so I’m lowkey okay with it.

- Alice this is Riverdale you really think some bad coincidence couldn’t have happened right after Polly left the phone booth?

- Veronica stop using money for no reason PLEASE. And god more VA scenes I’m so tired of it… though somehow it fits better than them being together as teens. But we’re not forgetting how he cheated on her with Betty, still loves Betty, and is mostly just going back to Veronica because it’s “comfortable”

- TABITHA AND VERONICA SCENE!! They look so good standing near one another ugh

- … if I heard the football coach say that over the intercom I’d literally think he’s a whiny piece of shit and never go to the games in spite. What the fuck was that???

- Jughead acting like he probably wouldn’t have written a story like that kid when he was in school lol okay...

- Reggie pointing at each bulldog and calling them a loser on his way out…. what the actual fuck asdfgjkl;

- Give Veronica literally anything than plots surrounding Archie and Hiram we’re so fucking TIRED

- Veronica needs Archie to talk to Reggie about this boring football bs but will make a wager with her dad that will go against everything Archie would like… please nothing about them as a couple has changed!!! IT’S SO BAD AND BORING!!!! WE DON’T WANT THEM!!!

- We really could have had teachers!Barchie and Jeronica but noooo they’d rather cater to toxic bh and va who don’t deserve to have their boring ships that ruin their characters. Why did Riverdale get stuck with the people who can’t write to save their lives?

- Cheryl and Betty finally having an actually good conversation wow-

- VA once again in bed sigh. The only thing getting me through is that Archie seems much happier with Betty muah

- Veronica stop being cute I’m trying to hate you and Archie getting back together out of nowhere

- Betty please for once in your life stop lying… I know you’re trying to protect her but if Polly really is dead it’s gonna hurt even worse now that you gave her hope

- LERMAN LOGAN AAFJDSHKHFJDFASHJKN THAT’S HIS FUCKING NAME? BRUH-

- “The story could have alluded to stuff happening at home.” “Then you should have come to us!” yes because parents who were abusing their child totally wouldn’t say anything to throw off the teacher who’s just trying to make sure their student is okay…….. why would he go to the parents first?

- #Kangs Cheryl shh we already don’t like them together please stop… anyways Swangs and Keggie when???

- Fangs really dated Kevin for 7 years, weirded out with his bf going into the woods to hook up with strangers and only now is talking about it… and they thought they’d be able to marry and have a baby together??? damn anyways SWANGS AND KEGGIE WHEN????

- But also Fangs is so right that’s why Kevin’s angry

- Adult friends BH is literally so much better than teenage co dependent toxic wannabe detectives but also if this makes them get together, also out of nowhere, I will rip out my hair

- what kind of nick name is T-Dub………… but anyways this scene was so cute

- See adult BH and VA could have been so good if they kept romance out of it since they already milked the shit out of it for four seasons (at least three too long), because them as adults, as FRIENDS feels so good to watch.

- HIRAM BENCHES REGGIE BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO LITERALLY BREAK A CHILD’S LEGS?!?!??!? This is how we get Reggie back to the “good side” and not Beggie sighhhhhhh imagine if we had good writers

- Betty’s like “…… the mothmen……. god I literally grew up to be a real detective what is this bullshit?"

- Also instead of mothmen why not just make it all about aliens by themselves

- This proves that BH is STILL not compatible after five seasons muah I guess I can deal with boring VA as long as the worst of the worst, BH, is gonna stay dead. At least VA is hot

- That edited picture of Betty and Polly I— afsdfhfasf

- Polly deserved so much better… anyways go read my Sweet Pea x Polly drabble!!! based after the time jump :)

- Kevin please if you’re gonna painfully flirt please learn a few actually good pick up lines

- Ummmm okay first of all why did that guy not say anything about Kevin calling him hot if he was straight and not into him hitting on him? Second of all, why does Kevin always get these awful plots, and lastly, what the fuck anyways can’t wait for Fangs to find out and sick the serpents on that Shane guy bc while him and Kevin aren’t together anymore, he definitely still cares about him

- Betty once again resorting to assault……. okay…… what a gross misuse of power

- Kevin feeling ashamed of him being gay because his mom once talked about him wearing husky clothes…? God everyone on this show deserves much better plots what the fuck

- Can’t wait for Betty to be suspended for this bullshit

- I don’t think the Logan’s would like Jughead of all people helping find their son but okay

- Betty is so unstable please how did she become a detective… ahhh right the writers eat from her ass lmao

- Love that Reggie gets no shit for just suddenly switching sides

- also sigh pairing up bh and va for the millionth time. It’s interesting that everyone enjoys the show much better when literally anyone else interact

- more singing…………Cheryl you’re not in high school anymore BUT it is lowkey a bop somehow though

- I know the answer is no but V never told Archie of her dumbass wager huh

- 0 to 52………………. so how is Hiram not gonna win this. We find out he cheated in some way and is disqualified or something?

- VERONICA, REGGIE, AND TABITHA HUGGING AHHH NEW OT3 FUCKKK

- Why is Hiram so mad his team has 52 points I—

- That kiss was so boring please give us Barchie and Jeronica and stop having V go back too Archie

- THEY LEFT RIVERDALE THAT QUICKLY? damn okay

- Betty feeling bad just because her mom found out she lied… like okay I know we’re supposed to want Betty on the case but she really shouldn’t be. She’s such an awful detective. She had potential in the beginning but :/

- anyways thank fucking god it’s over that felt like a million years long of boring bullshit where is Barchie and Beggie and Jeronica and Keggie and Karchie and Swangs ugh make Riverdale interesting again PLEASE I’ve never stopped watching like this, ever…

[rennyforpresident]

Renny’s BBSim: Second Chances Week 3: Will Y’all Leave Those Mattresses Alone

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiiig Brother!

@brentrobinson @cirie-sandra-michaela @flopbb-22 @flungevictee @fucklauryn @iantxrry @kaysarswhore @maxdoesbb @music-obsessednerd @pawn2393 @paymeincashnottears @phylisisley @rennyforpresident @swampassthing @theminionjcfucked @wheremy--demons--hide

Previously, @flungevictee was sent packing. Will the votes to keep him regret their choice? Before we get to any major power shifts, how did the latest eviction affect the alliances in the house?

After @wheremy--demons--hide realizes that @cirie-sandra-michaela​ is really the only person she cares about in that alliance, she jumps ship on the three person alliance to make sure her energy is better spent protecting her ride or die.

But she can’t do anything unless she wins HOH. So let’s see that comp!

The first mental comp of the season! (Time for me to FLOPPPP)

Losers! 8 of us are eliminated in the third question, when we all thought @paymeincashnottears said “Go FUCK yourselves” when she really said “go HELP yourselves [to this wonderful food I made]”

Will @theminionjcfucked secure her second win? Or will @fucklauryn earn her chance to enact revenge? Or will @swampassthing secure power and shake up the house?

The winner is...

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@swampassthing (and good thing too bc this is the first post I’ve been able to tag you in!!) You have secured your safety for this week and earned the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction!

Time for nominations!

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@swampassthing: “I really didn’t want to have to nominate anyone, but this is what’s best for my game. @music-obsessednerd, I’ve heard through multiple people that you’re coming for me, and I’d be a bad player if I let that slide. @fucklauryn, you were on the block last week, so I figured you’d be cool if I put you up again. No hard feelings to either of you, and best of luck in the veto”

@music-obsessednerd in the DR: “I’m not giving up yet. I know I have friends in this house, and @fucklauryn is spiraling. I just need to let things play out.”

@fucklauryn in the DR: “This experience is NOT what I thought it would be, I need to win veto and then win HOH so I can teach these people a lesson for thinking they can put me on the block whenever they want. I’m l i v i d.”

After some tense and uncomfortable hugs after the nomination ceremony, it’s time to pick players for the veto competition.

@music-obsessednerd picks @maxdoesbb because they’re close, but, like she said in the DR, “the only person I can depend on right now is me.” Who will come out on top in the veto? Let’s find out

It’s Ball-demonium! (that was a horrible play on words ignore that sdklj;ks)

Can @fucklauryn pull out a win to save herself? Or will @wheremy--demons--hide or @swampassthing win and shake up the house with a renom?

The winner is...

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@swampassthing! You have won the Golden Power of Veto!

@swampassthing in the DR: “I’m really really contemplating making a big move this week. People are getting a liiiiiittle too comfortable and I’m not about that!”

Will @swampassthing use the veto? 

The answer is no! Nominees are locked, and @music-obsessednerd and @fucklauryn​ will be facing eviction on Thursday. Until then, what goes on in the house?

@cirie-sandra-michaela​ starts to feel the heat after a large group of houseguests talk game and say that he’s most likely to win it all. He spends three hours in the DR saying “I didn’t come here to go out pre-jury! Just let me go!”

Eventually Grodner came in and slapped him a few times until he went back into the house.

@phylisisley​ makes a snide remark in passing about @swampassthing​ and her always wearing the same gray v-neck. @kaysarswhore​ says “girl just flip her bed, that’s how I do it.” Moments later, her bed was not only flipped, but the mattress was found in the backyard. A screaming match followed, ended with @swampassthing​ yelling “I knew I should have put your ass on the block when I won the veto! Count your days, bitch!”

After all that, it’s time for another LIVE Eviction!

Julie: “Hello houseguests! Week 3 done! How is everyone holding up?”

Everyone just kind of stares at each other awkwardly until Julie keeps talking

Julie: “Wow, you all are tense! It must be because of this eviction! Well, let’s get to it!”

@music-obsessednerd​: “Hey guys! No matter what happens, I’ve loved my time here and I wouldn’t change it for the world. However, that does NOT mean I want it to be over. Keep me here, use me, let me play. I will work for you and play this game as hard as you want. Just vote for me. Please. Vote.”

@fucklauryn​: “Hello again! The block is really starting to feel like home! My goals are still the same as they were last week, and I just wanna play! So keep me here and I WILL shake this house up!”

Time for the votes...

The votes are tied. Who will @cirie-sandra-michaela​ vote for?

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Julie: “Remember, when I reveal the name of the evicted houseguest, you will have one minute to gather your belongings, say your goodbyes, and exit the Big Brother house.”

Julie: “ @music-obsessednerd​, come on out!”

Julie: “I am so sorry to be sitting here with you! Who do you blame for your eviction?”

@music-obsessednerd​: “Who else! @swampassthing​! They put me up and they refused to use the veto on me to make a move! I think people are playing really cowardly games right now and they weren’t ready for my kind of gameplay”

Julie: “And what kind of gameplay do you want to see? Who do you think will give you that?”

@music-obsessednerd​: “I think @theminionjcfucked​ is playing hard, and I respect that. I also respect the only other person in there that was willing to go toe to toe with me week one, @rennyforpresident​. I’m sad I’m out but I hope the game can get shaken up soon!”

Julie: “Well it was wonderful watching you play again, and we’re sad to see you go!

How will this eviction change the house? Find out next time, on BBSim: Second Chances. From outside the Big Brother house, I’m Julie Chen. Goodnight.”

[bookworm555]

*Reuploaded FOR THE THIRD TIME because I realized that this never showed up in any of this fandom’s tags the first two times I posted it :/ Now I am trying this as a text post with images instead of a typical art post because nothing is freaking working and I am so frustrated.

Because read-mores apparently make my post glitchy, I apologize in advance for the length of this post, and hopefully, it doesn’t clog your dashes/the tags too badly.*

Another CatCF/WWatCF sketchdump~

The top drawing is the characters from the 1971 adaptation ten years later (which was an excuse to draw 80′s fashion, haha).

Ten years later doodles (from left to right) Top row: Violet and Veruca Second row: Mike, Charlie, and Augustus

(I think Violet turned out to be the best of these doodles!)

Some headcanons for the ten years later drawings (this would have been the section under the read-more, if it worked :/ ):

I always headcanoned the characters in the ‘71 version to be thirteen, minus Mike, who I saw as eleven. So basically everyone in the drawing is twenty-three except for Mike, who is twenty-one.

Violet: For years after the nightmare that was the factory tour, Violet struggled with major body image issues, especially about her blue skin. (And is homeschooled because of this.) However, eventually, her mindset basically became ‘Wonka thought this was a punishment? Fuck that; I’m going to embrace it’, so she became more confident.

Once this confidence hits during her late teens, she uses her unusual appearance to her advantage (especially when it comes to attracting visitors/potential buyers to her dad’s car dealership).

She doesn’t go to college; instead, she works at her dad’s place, and basically learns how to be a mechanic.

She hasn’t chewed gum since the factory tour.

When Charlie contacts her and the others, she is hesitant to respond back, but ultimately does (to sass him, at the very least). During the group’s future meetups, she’s basically the glue that keeps them together.

Veruca: Unlike Violet, Veruca carries a lot of guilt about what happened during the factory tour, since her father was punished along with her. He fell wrong, and as a result, was paralyzed from the waist down, and is now in a wheelchair. Veruca was lucky; aside from a broken ankle, she did not suffer any worse injuries.

Because of this, Veruca becomes mute (her mouthing off and constantly asking for things is what led to her–pun not intended–downfall, so she decides that it would be for the best if she stops talking altogether.)

Despite the Salts being wealthy, Wonka paid all of their medical bills. Even though it would have made sense for them to take him to trial, they decided not to (Henry did not want anyone to see him in his new state, and Veruca’s anxiety spiked even thinking about the factory).

When Charlie contacts the four ‘rejects’ ten years after the tour, Violet starts to bring Veruca out of her shell. Though it is ultimately Augustus who helps her feel comfortable speaking again, due to his soft-spoken personality.)

Mike: Like the others, Mike was very traumatized by what happened to him during the tour. (Especially since he was younger than the rest of them.)

While Violet embraced her altered state, and Veruca withdrew from the world, Mike became bitter. Very bitter. Because, while sure, Wonka and co. were able to get him back to about normal size [after stretching him waaaay too tall and thin the first time; his mother fainted, then had plenty of choice words for everyone involved when she came to], the process was incredibly painful, and involved basically rubber-fying his bones and muscles temporarily (yeah, he still had no idea why Wonka would even create a candy that did that).

Because of that, he has scars all over his body–the most on his arms, legs, and torso–so he always wears long-sleeved shirts or jackets, and long pants.

He is pissed that his life was ruined at age eleven; sure, he was obnoxious, but he was a KID. Now he’s stuck with chronic pain, not to mention the occasional breakdown because he has no idea if he’s actually HIM, or just a copy that was beamed through Wonka’s television room that managed to keep his soul. (Yeah, he doesn’t like to dwell on that; he prefers to think that that would be impossible.) [A/N: That part comes from the fact that Wonka stated that the chocolate that appeared in the TV screen was a copy of the much larger chocolate bar that was beamed through the air, and not the original bar itself]

When Charlie contacts him, he almost sends a nasty letter back, but something in him pauses, and he ends up sending a civilized response. It wasn’t Charlie’s fault all this happened to him; Charlie was the nice one, and, though he would never admit it to anyone, on the tour, he thought Charlie was cool. Goody-two-shoes, but in the ‘Lovable TV Protagonist’ sort of way.

As the five of them start meeting/corresponding through letters, he lets Charlie past all the walls he put up, and is definitely the closest to him in the group.

Charlie: Happily becomes Wonka’s protege after the tour. He is ecstatic that he not only gets to live and learn to work in this magical place, but he and his family are finally out of poverty!

He goes to school during the day, then learns the tricks of the candy trade in the afternoons and evenings.

However, about ten years after winning the tour, Wonka just…vanishes. And that’s when Charlie finds the videos showcasing what happened to the other four Golden Ticket winners after their mishaps.

Charlie is appalled; looking back, they were all so young. Of course, they were bratty; that’s how kids ARE. (Sure, some of them were worse than others, but they didn’t deserve their fates! Essentially, the four ‘losers’, plus Mr. Salt, were toyed with and tortured, and their parents could not help them.) Mike’s was especially horrible, to him; it was the only tape he couldn’t finish.

This makes Charlie feel a little guilty; he got off easy, even though he also disobeyed the rules.

He is also torn; on the one hand, Wonka was a great mentor, and he was fond of the man–he made a good father-figure, for him. But on the other hand, this was a man who thought the way to get rid of a kid’s bad habits was to torture them.

Before he could think otherwise, Charlie writes letters to the other Golden Ticket winners. He doesn’t expect anything nice back, but is surprised to find that they are all willing to talk to him.

He is relieved; he wants to right the wrongs done to them.

Augustus: The poor guy falls into a deep depression after the tour. Sure, he was thinner, but he had no problem with how he looked before. Not to mention, even the smell of chocolate and other sugary sweets makes him very nauseous. Oh, and there’s the not-so-small fear of drowning that he picked up, as well as severe claustrophobia.

He felt like a part of him was lost, since he could no longer enjoy his favorite foods. Or food in general. He ate to not starve, but that was it.

He was already quiet, but after the tour, he withdrew into himself even more, preferring to spend time with the neighborhood cats rather than people. (Yes, he is definitely a cat person.)

But he still has his kind heart, so when Charlie Bucket sends him a letter, he responds right away (and is the first one to do so).

When they start writing more letters to each other, and eventually meeting, he helps the others through their trauma, while ignoring his own. He thinks he’ll always be stuck this way.

Veruca disagrees.

And in terms of schooling, only Augustus went to college. As for high school, Violet and Mike were homeschooled, Veruca went to an exclusive, posh academy, Charlie stuck with public school, and Augustus went to a private school.

-

Now, if anyone was interested, these are the outfits that inspired the ones I drew (though, obviously, I took artistic liberties with some of them). I wanted to give them each a different style: Violet’s is the outlandish fashion the 80s are famous for, Veruca’s is demure and preppy, Mike’s is pretty unassuming, but with a slight edge, Charlie’s is comfortable/casual, and Augustus’s is comfortable/slightly formal.

Left to right: Violet, Veruca, Mike, Charlie, Augustus

(And I imagine the back of Mike’s jacket looking like this, aka with a vent, which is why the back of the jacket isn’t visible in the gap of his legs):

WOW, that got so long (oops…), but those were just my ideas for how these characters would interact and act ten years later. Hopefully someone enjoys this, XD

[cstormsinukagblog]

Fast Food Thief

A/N I do not own Inuyasha or any characters. This is not an original idea. I read a post a while back and the idea popped into my head to do it Inukag style. The idea is here. This is a modern day Inukag au. I hope you enjoy. I needed a pick-me-up. Have a good Saturday!

Tags for people who have requested it:  @akitokihojo @alannada @mamabearcat @Cammysanstuff @eternalnight8806-3 @feudalpriestess98 @hinezumi @Juliatheanimelover7 @keichanz @littlemissinukag @noviceotakus-blog @petri808 @shinidamachu @Stuckinthewrongworld @witchygirl99 @xfangheartx

This day was going to suck. Her coffee pot was broken, so she was going to have to stop somewhere. She goes to get dressed to go to work, and apparently the dry cleaners failed to get the ink stain out of her favorite blouse. She stomps her feet like a young child throwing a tantrum. But it did relieve some of the irritation. She selects another outfit, gets dressed in a hurry, then rushes out the door. She parks on the street and heads into the cafe on the way and realizes too late the line was too long. She tries to wait it out, but is definitely going to be late. She gives up after the line seems to have barely moved after ten minutes. She is almost there and actually it doesn’t seem like she is going to be late until she hears sirens. She pulls over diligently and sees fire trucks zoom past her and stop a little ways ahead of her. Traffic is not at a standstill. She was only 18 minutes late, and it didn’t seem like anyone had noticed. She sunk into her desk just in time for her boss to yell her name. She jumps up, and he is glaring at her. 

“Yes, Mr. Naraku?” Her voice is still slightly out of breath, which is exacerbated by her nerves.

His glare almost seems to get worse, “in my office, please.”

Her head sinks as she nods in response, then follows him to his office. He motions for her to sit in the chair across from his desk and she barely sits on the edge of the seat, terrified of what he wants.

“You need to stop making it such a habit to waltz in late, Miss Higurashi. Why don’t you tell me why I shouldn’t fire you?”

Her eyes went wide and she could feel tears welling, which she struggles to blink back. Her voice comes out in a rush, “Mr. Naraku, this is only the second time I’ve been late in a year. I am so sorry, but I am always on time. It’s just been a very bad morning. There was a fire in an apartment building and traffic wasn’t moving.” 

Her head sinks to her chest, and she misses the evil smile spread across his face. Her heart is pounding and she can’t breathe.

His voice comes out with a greasy quality, “Very well. Do not be late again. If you do, we will have to let you go. You already have 2 write-ups. I should give you your third today. But I’m feeling generous. Perhaps after work you can come talk to me about getting those write-ups removed. I’m sure we can work something out.”

She can feel his eyes travel up and down her body and she represses a shiver. “If I have time after work, I will come back, Mr. Naraku.” She is hoping so hard that he won’t know she’s lying. She knows exactly what he wants, and she would rather lose her job than do what she’s sure he’s insinuating.

She works through her first break, only stopping to run to the restroom. She had to avoid any chance to be alone with him. She didn’t want to lose this job, but she would have to start job hunting tonight. Her lunch couldn’t come soon enough. Her stomach was grumbling. She went to the breakroom to grab her lunch from the fridge to find it gone. This day seriously couldn’t get any worse.

She leaves to try to run to the fast-food restaurant down the street, but she’s only halfway there and she knows she’s never gonna have time. She stops into a little corner store and grabs a pop and a bag of chips and runs back, barely making it in time. Before she sits, she sees Mr. Naraku glance at his watch and give her a look as if to say, “cutting it close.”

She slumps at her desk and sets her head down for a moment. This day is terrible. After a few seconds she calms her breathing and sits back up getting back to work. She opens her bag of chips and starts snacking between typing. The rest of the day seems to be uneventful, and she is so relieved by that. She sees Mr. Naraku staring at her as she finishes closing up things for the day. Once she shuts down her computer and cleans up her station, she clocks out, and pretends to get a phone call.

As she walks by his office, she tries to look guilty and apologize, “I’m sorry, Mr. Naraku. It’s my mom. She needs me to come help her. I’ll be on time tomorrow, I promise.”

He sneers in irritation, “If not you might as well not come in at all Miss Higurashi.”

She nods and looks down as she walks out of the office doors, then she practically sprints to her car. Her stomach is cramping from not having any real food all day. She stops in at the drive thru for the WacDonald’s on the way home. She tried to order her usual, but apparently there was an issue and they had a recall on their chicken patties. As she is sitting there debating on what to order the car behind her honks.

This is definitely the last straw. She glances back in the rearview window and she can see white hair and dog ears on a very handsome face, sitting in a convertible.

Fuck him. She places her order and drives forward to wait her turn to get to the pay window. She debates for a minute, then remembers a post on something similar. She’s usually not so mean, but this has been enough. When she gets to the window, she tells the cashier she wants to pay for the order for the car behind her, but she needs a receipt for both orders. The young kid smiles and mutters something like, “that’s nice of you.” Which she tries not to laugh at. What she is planning is not nice at all.

As she pulls up to the food window, she tells the person that she has 2 orders and shows both receipts. She gets her order and his. Pulls up a bit, flips him off and drives away. Fuck that guy!

~~~~~~~

Inuyasha is in a hurry. As usual. His day hasn’t been bad, but he needs a fucking vacation. Not that he couldn’t take one. Hell, he could take a 3 month hiatus and still be fine. But he needed to work. If he didn’t work, he thought too much. So he worked about 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. He liked to be kept busy. He pulled into the WacDonald’s and was irritated to see so many cars in the drive thru. He could go in, it would probably be faster, but fuck that. He didn’t want to get out of his car. So he pulled in behind this purple sedan. He needed to get home. He had shit to do.

After a couple minutes, the cars hadn’t moved nearly as fast as they needed to. When the purple sedan finally got to the mic to order, the dumb bitch took forever. He could feel a growl rumbling in his chest and he honked his horn at her. He could see her glare at him in her rearview mirror, but at least it made her put in her stupid order. He pulled up and put in his order, quick and easy.

He pulled back up behind her at the pay window and saw her and the cashier send a look back at him. Was she really telling on him? What is this elementary school? He let out a “keh” and waited to pull up to pay. When he pulled up to the pay window, he had cash ready, but the cashier looked at him and seemed all lovey dovey.

“The lady in front of you paid for your food.”

His hand dropped. Wow, he was an asshole. He honked at her because she wasn’t ordering fast enough for him, and she decided to be nice in retaliation. Damn, what a classy lady. Here he was calling her a bitch in his mind, and she was definitely nicer than he had expected.

He saw her get two bags of food. No wonder it had taken her so long, she was ordering for a group. He really was an asshole. He pulls up to the window and says quite calmly what his order was, and the cashier looks confused.

“The lady in the purple sedan just paid for it for me.”

The cashier’s mouth drops, “Umm… She paid for 2 orders and showed me the receipt. She took both orders.”

Inuyasha’s mouth drops open. She wasn’t classy, but damn was she fucking brilliant. He pulled out and jumped on the road, following the purple sedan. She drove to a local park and went and sat under a pavilion. He held back a bit so she wouldn’t know he had followed her.

As soon as she slumps down on a bench, he jumps out of his car and stomps over to her.

“Hey, Bitch! You fucking stole my food!”

She looks up, absolutely shocked, and slightly terrified. 

“That was my fucking order at the WacDonald’s. Now give me my fucking food!”

She seems to recoup quickly and snaps back at him, “Excuse me, but you didn’t pay for anything, that is your problem. I paid for food and I get to have the food. Your loss, loser.”

He growls low at the word loser and fights to keep his anger in check. “Bitch, that isn’t fucking fair. You paid before I got there. But I ordered the fucking food and you will give it to me.”

She just glares at him, “You should have gotten back in line at the drive thru. It’s not my problem. Sometimes mistakes are made. I placed an order, paid for food. And got all the food I paid for. Maybe if you weren’t such a jerk, you wouldn't have these problems. But no, you have no patience, like the 2 minutes I spent putting my order in slowed you down so damn much. How much time have you wasted following me all the way to the park and now yelling at me. You could have got back in line, ordered your food and been on your way. So you weren’t in a hurry, you were just being rude. You deserve it. Besides, you didn’t pay for it so I didn’t steal it. I bought it.”

She stands up and walks back to her car carrying both bags of food, “Now I’m going home. If you follow me there, I’ll be forced to call the police.”

He growls at her, then stops mid growl and bursts out laughing. Everything she had said was completely true. He could have been home sitting on his soft comfy couch, and eating trash food, but here he was yelling at a stranger. For food he hadn’t even paid for.

She seems more afraid of his laughter than his growling. “You’re right. I was an asshole. But I have to bow down to the bigger asshole. You, wench, are a much bigger asshole than I am. I cannot compete. Now, if I pay you for my food, will you give me the damn bag?”

She seems to contemplate it for a minute, then nods. “On one condition. You cannot ever honk at someone in a drive thru again. I need to know you at least learned your lesson.”

He smirks at her and he feels his fang peek out. “Yeah, alright. I won’t honk in drive thrus anymore. What an important lesson. I am so glad you taught me right from wrong.”

He pulls out the money he had for his order and she trades him for the bag. After he turns to walk back to his car, he can detect a change in her scent. He turns back to see her entire body deflate as she sinks back onto the bench. Then the scent of tears hits him. Fuck he wasn’t that much of an asshole was he?

He rushes back, “Hey. What the hell, wench?”

She sucks in a breath and tries to compose herself as he stops next to her. She clears her throat and mumbles a “What?” in response, and for some reason her tears are killing him.

“Was I that much of an asshole? What did I do to make ya cry?”

She shakes her head in response. “It wasn’t you. Just go. Just take your stupid food and go.”

He drops the bag on the ground at her feet and sits down next to her. “Yeah, I don’t think so. What happened to the spunky woman who just let me have it? I’ve never been so intimidated by a human before. Now you’re gonna let my opinion of ya fade so quickly?”

She growls pretty impressively for a human, “What the fuck should I care about your opinion of me? I don’t even know you, you jerk!”

He doesn’t know why, but he instinctively wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into him. He hears her gasp against him. Fuck, what was wrong with him? He is practically molesting some woman he doesn’t even know! Then her head turns into his chest and her arms come up around his back. He can feel her tears through his shirt, and his heart is breaking slightly. This strong, smart, and wonderful woman is in his arms sobbing, and grabbing his shirt like her life depended on it. He holds her until her sobbing stops. He doesn’t say anything about it, and just sits holding her until she pulls away.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know you. That was definitely terrible of me. Please forgive me.”

He cuts her off, by gently placing his hand against her cheek being careful of his claws, “Are ya better now?”

She nods slowly and gives him a watery smile. “Yes, thank you. For everything.”

He nods back and his smirk returns, “Anytime. M’name’s Inuyasha. Maybe we can do this again sometime. Maybe even without all the yelling, and rude names.”

She snickers in response then nods again, “My name is Kagome.”

He shakes his head at her, “Nah, I like Wench better.”

Her smile disappears, “You are such a jerk! Why are you still here?”

He feels his smirk spread, “I can’t resist a Wench in Distress.”

She rolls her eyes, and the smile comes back. “You know what, I think I’ve dated too many jerks. I think I will have to say no to getting together another time.”

“Keh, dating. Aren’t we presumptuous?” Her mouth drops open, and she resembles the cutest carp he’d ever seen. “I mean we barely know each other and you already want to date me. I know I’m a catch, but damn wench. Slow down.”

“My name is Kagome. Ka-Go-Me! Get it right.” She stands up and stomps over to her car and climbs in, slamming the door. He glances down and sees her bag of food and proceeds to grab it, dangling it in front of himself so she can easily see it and he can hear her frustrated scream from inside of her car. He can’t stop himself from opening the bag and stealing one of her fries. Now her frustrated scream has become an angry growl. He pulls out a pen and writes something on the bag. He walks over to her car and puts the bag on the hood of her car. Climbs in his car and speeds off. She’ll call. He absolutely knows it.

She gets out of her car and grabs her bag. His writing is a lot neater than she expected.

Ok Ka-Go-Me Call me Inuyasha and his number.

She was definitely going to have to call him...

[propertyofnikkisthighs]

She’s My Collar pt. 4

Tags: @nowhereiswhereibelong​

I jolt awake in terror clutching my chest and looking around wildly before my eyes adjust to the dark and I remember I’m in my own room. I try to focus on calming my breathing back to a normal level and hold my head in my hands. A thin film of sweat covers my forehead and the cool air against my back is an indicator that is also covered in sweat due to my nightmare. I take a deep breath and contemplate my next move carefully before I think fuck it and decide to throw caution to the wind. I fling the covers off of my body and get up turning my lamp on so I could see properly. I look around for clothing to throw on and find a pair of shorts and one of Tommy’s shirts he had lent me after getting a beer dumped on me by a drunk asshole at a show. I slip my feet into my slippers and make my way over to the boy’s apartment.

The music flows out of the open window near their front door, which is now nailed shut from the cops kicking it down so much. The potent odor of marijuana is also spilling out of the window along with a particularly shit faced girl who runs to the railing and proceeds to spill her guts over it. I hear Tommy before I see him as I crawl through the window into the living room.

“You guys are gonna fucking freak.” I hear Tommy say and I find him just in time to catch his face going between a girl’s legs going to town.

I avert my eyes and make my way around his public show into the kitchen to try to find any of the other boys. I successfully locate Nikki in the kitchen tearing through the cabinets in search of something. He nearly falls into me turning too fast, but luckily catches himself at the last minute.

“Hey Riv!” He yells excitedly messing up my hair. “Have you seen our rubbing alcohol?”

“I don’t live here Nikki.” If he’s looking for rubbing alcohol I know he’s up to no good.

“Come on River don’t be a fucking buzz kill.” He sighs annoyed with my concern for his well being.

“Under the sink.” I roll my eyes and he gets a goofy smile on his face running to get it.

I lean against the wall and watch as Nikki tears into the living room like a bat out of hell. A man laughs, egging Nikki on as he dumps the liquid on his leather jacket clad arm and uses his lighter to cover his arm in flames. The man clearly had never been to one of their shows if this little production had him wowed. Nikki flashes a shit eating grin my way and walks towards the man little fires falling from him singeing the carpet in his wake. The man backs away seeming genuinely scared that Nikki will burn him and I know Nikki will accidentally burn him so I spray his fire with the spray bottle I kept on the fridge to discipline them.

“River what the fuck?” Nikki scoffs at me in disbelief crossing his arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“If you light the building on fire the band is fucked out of a living slash rehearsing space.” I say shrugging.

“You know you could at least try being less of a loser.” Nikki grumbles at me and I’m about to fire back for him to shove it when I see Vince adjusting himself in his pants coming out of the bathroom.

“Have fun? Did you enjoy the ride?” I directed him.

“I know she sure did.” Vince laughs giving Nikki a high five. “When did you get here, River? You normally say no to our invites to party with us.”

“I couldn’t sleep.” I shrug.

The moans of the girl Tommy is “performing” on suddenly cut through the noise of all the millions of other things going on in the apartment. I turn to go deeper into the kitchen and look in the fridge for a beer to ignore them. The boys on the other hand go to check out the show. I take a sip of the beer and try not to cringe too much at the taste. I wasn’t a big drinker in general and I especially disliked the taste of beer, but it was the only thing the boys had in their fridge. I squeeze my eyes closed as the grand finale comes to an end in the living room and try to pretend that what was happening in there wasn’t happening. Tommy rounds the corner and catches sight of me, eyes closed squeezing a beer between two hands and stops dead in his tracks. I peek my eyes open and see Tommy stopped in front of me slowly turning a deep red shade all over his face.

“Hey.” I say cracking a smile and he smiles back, but he still looks embarrassed.

“Hey. How long have you been here?” He asks rubbing his neck nervously.

“Long enough.” I take a sip of my beer. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Can I?” He asked motioning to the fridge and I realize I’m blocking the door for him to get into it.

“Oh yeah I’m sorry.” I shuffle to the side and he cracks open his beer and chugs some of his beer leaning on the counter near me.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Just restless. I’m fine.” I lie not wanting to put a damper on his night.

“Want to take a shot with me?” He smiles wildly and I nod my head agreeing. Which was my first mistake that night. My eyelids feel as if they are a million pounds and my head feels like someone wacked me upside it with a brick. I groan and try to pull my covers over my head from the blaring light of the window only to be met with some unseeable force holding them down. That was about the time I noticed that not only was this not my cover, this was not my room at all. I sit up quickly, far too quickly and everything spins around me. I groan again and hold my head in my hands until I regain stability. I hear soft snoring next to me and look over to see Tommy laying on his stomach in just his underwear a small pool of drool next to his mouth. I look down and see I’m only in his shirt and my panties and a panic sets in my bones. Did I fuck Tommy last night?? I need to get to my apartment and quick.

I scan the messy bedroom and locate my shorts and bra discarded on the lamp in the corner and slowly make my way to them so as to not make much noise. I pull my shorts on and try to find my slippers. They seem to have been kicked haphazardly in front of Tommy’s door luckily and I slip into those before tip toeing out of the room. I close the door softly and turn to leave smacking right into Nikki’s chest.

“Well well well look who is doing the walk of shame this morning.” Nikki chuckles and I place a finger over his mouth shushing him.

“Not now Nikki. I have a killer hangover.” I whine in a whisper.

“Here come in the kitchen let a professional teach you how to treat a hangover ya big baby.” He motions for me to follow him and against my better judgement I follow him.

“How do you possibly do this all the time?” The dull thud in my brain is churning my stomach and I’m almost worried I’ll blow chunks right then and there.

“I told you, I’m a professional.” He smirks as he hands me a glass of mystery liquid. I take a drink and choke on the harsh burn of a jack and coke.

“Nikki what the fuck is your problem?!” I cough. “I’m hungover, why would you give me more alcohol?”

“Hair of the dog.” He shrugs.

“I’m going to my apartment. Where things make sense.” I storm out of their place as best as I can considering I have to crawl out of a window with Nikki calling out that he’ll see me later at the show.

Oh fuck I forgot about the show tonight. I try not to make too much noise getting to my room as Mick is sleeping vampire style on my couch, which seemed to be the new normal for us. Once I’m safely in my room I flop and the bed and shut my eyes praying when I wake up this hangover will be long gone.

The boys are rowdy as ever tonight in their favorite post show booth at The Rainbow. Tommy and Nikki have bashed each other's heads on the table more times than I can count and Vince would disappear every so often for the bathroom, but would return with pupils the size of saucers and a mouth ready to shout along with the overgrown idiots with whom he shared a band. Oh not to mention they had a girl sucking their dicks under the table. I tried to ignore the fact Tommy was struggling to keep his expression neutral as the girl gave him his “turn”.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I announce not that any of them are really paying attention besides Mick who nods to acknowledge me.

Instead of heading to the bathroom I stand outside listening to the sounds of the strip to calm myself. There was no need to get worked up. So what if you guys might have slept together and you couldn’t remember it? He was an on the rise rockstar that was their thing right, so why did it hurt so bad? I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts again before I went back inside to face the music, but I hoped the girl had moved on to Nikki by now. To my delight (and also surprise) the table girl is gone entirely. Just as I’m about to ask where their personal dick sucking machine has gotten off to a blonde slides in next to Nikki.

“Aye River!” Nikki acknowledges me in his state of drunken friendliness. “I want you to meet Beth.”

“Hello Beth.” Vince winks her way and I can already see the cogs of his brain trying to calculate a threesome at the very least. And taking Nikki’s girl at the very most.

“Hey.” I smile trying to play nice. She seems like most of the groupies the guys regularly fuck, a rich girl that likes coming to the strip to blow guys and daddy’s money on drugs.

As the night continues on Vince and Tommy trade places with him ending up right next to me. The booth is crowded and I try not to let my mind wander everytime Tommy’s fingers brush against my knee or when he tucks his face into my hair to laugh excessively from boyish joy and alcohol mixing.

“Alright well we’re gonna move on to the next bar you coming T-bone?” Nikki slurs holding Beth’s hips against his own and sways in the spot next to the table from being intoxicated.

“Nah man someone’s gotta make sure Riv gets home safe.” Tommy tosses an arm around my shoulder and I feel my face heat up.

“Suit yourself.” Nikki shrugs and a smug smirk falls over his face. “Remember kids the only sure fire way to prevent unwanted pregnancy is to swallow.”

He’s out of my reach when I lunge up to try to whack him which only increases his enjoyment at my embarrassment. He gives me the finger as he and Vince walk away snickering with Beth calling a “nice to meet you” back to the rest of us.

“Ya coming Mick?” Tommy asks as we pile back onto the strip.

“I have to go make sure things are cool with the she-beast at home. River leave the extra key under the mat for me just in case.” He rolls his eyes walking to his car.

Tommy and I have walked home at night alone more times than I could count now and yet there was this thick awkward silence between us this time. He normally would toss an arm around my shoulder or hold my hand, but his hands are jammed in the pockets of his leather jacket and he walks a few paces ahead of me. Just as I’m about to ask him if things are okay he starts to speak.

“You left.” Is all he says softly.

“What?”

“You left this morning and didn’t say anything.”

“I was just really hungover and wanted to sleep in my own bed.” I half lie to him.

“Do you even remember what you said to me last night?” He huffs.

“Tommy I don’t really remember last night.”

“You said you always wanted to sleep in bed and wake up together.” Neither of us continue walking at that point.

“I-”

“Did you mean it?” He asks looking at the ground.

“Yes Tommy.” I admit “You’re my best friend at this point. I feel safest when I’m with you.”

“Yeah. Best friend.” He repeats.

I take the few steps to bring me right beside him and snake my arms around him to hug his middle and by the grace of god he hugs me back. The rest of the walk home is quiet, but the silence doesn’t feel heavy anymore. I convince (not that it took much convincing) Tommy to shower and sleep at my apartment instead of me sleeping in his gross apartment again. My back is to the door and I can’t see Tommy enter my room but I can smell the men’s body wash I forcibly bought for him. The mattress dips and creaks slightly as he settles in next to me and the warmth the shower brought him radiates towards me in waves. An involuntary shudder rolls through my body and the next thing I know I’m being pulled against Tommy’s warm skinny body. I glance over my shoulder to see Tommy staring down at me with an unreadable expression.

“You don’t remember any of last night?” He asks barely above a whisper.

“Nope.” I copy his tone.

“So then you don’t remember…” he trails off and brings his hand up to cup and stroke my cheek and his tongue darts out to wet his lips quickly.

“What?” My eyes flick from his eyes to his mouth and back up again.

I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as the distance between us begins to shrink. My eyes flutter close and I’m sure I stop breathing when our lips ghost over each other not quite fully connecting them.

I hear the sound of shattering glass. Then I smell the fire.

[calsgirll]

Paris - Ashton Irwin

Ashton Irwin X Reader

word count: 1711

authors note: this is based around the song Paris by the chainsmokers! I heard the song for this first time in a while and this immediately hit me so here it is!❤️

  We were staying in Paris To get away from your parents

It had been a rough year for you and Ashton, with him on tour and you still living at home with your parents. You felt like he’d had no time for you since he started touring with the guys. Due to your past relationships your brain didn’t settle thinking of all the things he could be doing and you wouldn’t even know. One morning you woke up to the sound of your phone going crazy with text messages from the whole band telling you to open your front door. As you padded downstairs at 3am you tried to keep it quiet knowing your parents where probably asleep, you unlatched the door and peeked out not knowing what it would be and being very wary but you looked down and all you saw was a heart shaped foil balloon with a note and rose attached. You picked it up reading the note which said

‘pack your bags and be ready for 6 am. We’re going somewhere special’- Ash

you smiled rubbing your thumb over the small sticker of the Eiffel tower in the corner of the note.

And I thought, "Wow If I could take this in a shot right now I don't think that we could work this out"

“fuck you ash” you scream at him throwing a mug at the wall in anger “are you serious right now y/n, you really believe a few shitty rumours you saw on twitter?” Ashton asks trying to keep calm while you stand in front of him with puffy eyes and damp cheeks “the paparazzi has photos of you leaving a club with her what am I supposed to think” you say trying to collect yourself “do you trust me at all? Because I’m starting to get the hint that you don’t. you knew what you were getting into when we started dating” he snaps back at you now visibly angry at the fact you’re questioning his fidelity. You grab his hand as he tries to walk out “Ash im sorry, it just gets a lot knowing your out there being an amazing drummer with millions of girls throwing themselves at you” you squeak trying to hold in the tears that are threatening to fall any second, he looks at you with a sympathetic smile and sighs “I know its hard not being together all the time but please stay strong because you know I love you” he pulls you into his large frame.

It felt like that was yesterday, the first real fight you’d both had with each other. It was almost as if it was like a polaroid that was constantly hung up in your head. You where so grateful for him and the fact he stayed with you and allowed you both to get to this point.

Out on the terrace I don't know if it's fair but I thought "How Could I let you fall by yourself While I'm wasted with someone else"

Ashton glanced around at the Paris skyline as you both sat on the balcony. The glimmering Eiffel tower caught his eye, a thought popped into his head as he stifled a giggle you looked at him confused as to what he was so amused about “are you a tower? because Eiffel for you” he says with a smug smirk on his face like he’d came up with the line. You smile at him knowing how much of a idiot he was, you were both glad you had this time together, it felt like you were in a relationship with a ghost as he was almost never home and you were waiting around for someone who was out there with a load of other people probably not even having a second thought about you but he was extremely quick to reassure you that wasn’t the case and if it was as much as it would hurt you both he would break it off knowing that it wouldn’t be fair to you.

If we go down then we go down together They'll say you could do anything They'll say that I was clever

You sipped your latte as you sat on a small metal table in front of a small café. Ashton’s scrolling through his phone while you admire the city around you “what are we gonna do today?” you ask Ash like he’s your personal tour guide since he’s been here before. “whatever you want to do, anything you can think of we’ll do it” he says looking up from his phone and squinting when the harsh sunlight hits his hazel eyes. His eyes where like honey in the sun, he always claimed he hated the colour of his eyes whereas you believed they were the most amazing things you’d ever seen “you know I’m bad at making decisions Irwin” you smirk at him “we could go to the Louvre?” he looks up at you once again, you hum in response as you take another sip of your latte “even though they don’t have the best masterpiece, you” he snickered you kicked his shin under the table “youre so lame you know” you state he nods his head gazing back down at his phone.

You look so proud Standing there with a frown and a cigarette Posting pictures of yourself on the internet

You snapped a shot of Ashton next to the Eiffel tower he looked amazing as always he stays stood in the same spot for a while just staring at you, cigarette between your fingers fumbling with your phone he presumed you were adding filters etc. to the picture you just took he strolled over to you resting his chin on your shoulder watching your phone as you tap away at different things trying to make the picture match the theme of your Instagram. As you add the finishing touches to the photo you switch to Instagram before stamping out your cigarette and post it with a rose emoji as the caption and tagging him in it. He turns his head placing a kiss on your cheek “I love you so much” he states, you turn around facing him putting your hand inside his leather jacket wrapping them tightly around his waist “I love you too Ash, thank you” you say breathing in his citrusy cologne “thank you for what?” he asks with a confused look on his face “just being you and sticking with me through all my crazy meltdowns, there’s no one else id rather be with here than you” you say, you feel him kiss the top of your head as he holds you even tighter.

Out on the terrace We breathe in the air of this small town On our own cuttin' class for the thrill of it

Getting drunk on the past we were livin' in

You and Ashton found yourselves back out on the balcony in only your robes in a comfortable silence, tipsy and tired. Your mind began to wonder to where it all started.

“no you didn’t even get close to the bullseye, take a shot” you laugh as you watch him swallow down another shot after missing a dart yet again “I’m starting to think you’re cheating” he mutters “how can you even cheat in darts? You’re just a sore loser who’s to drunk to know I’m the best darts player ever” you giggle slightly slurring your words. It was nearly 2 am and all your friends had left after a drunken night of embarrassing ourselves which left you in a bar on your own with the one and only Ashton Irwin who you recognised from that one underwear song a few years back. He was quick to correct you that it was called she looks so perfect and was also quick to tell you he had changed a lot since then. You both started talking also noticing how his friends also left one bye one “and then there where two” he giggles “I guess so what are the plans then” you ask him sipping the tiny straws that are floating in your mojito glass “back to my hotel to watch some shitty lifetime movie?” he ask studying your face to see your reaction by the way it lit up he knew that you were in “watching shitty lifetime movies is actually my favourite past time” you say grabbing your bag and drinking the last of your cocktail.

You thought it was strange how that one night you spent with him ended up becoming such an amazing relationship. Youre glad it happened so naturally because online dating wasn’t your thing it felt kinda forced. The story was definitely one to tell the grandchildren you though smiling looking down at the empty beer bottle in your hand.

We'll get away with everything Let's show them we are better

It was your last night in Paris and you and Ashton decided to go on a walk around the beautiful city, it was almost 9pm and the sky was sparkling almost as much as the Eiffel tower in front of you “shall we go up?” Ashton asks quietly “Ash you know I’m afraid of heights” you whined wondering why your boyfriend would ask such a dumb question after knowing you for so long “come on please it’ll be worth it I promise” he pleads and after around 10 minutes of bargaining you find yourself half way up the tower waiting to get to the top. Your tight grip on Ashtons hand not releasing in fear you may just drop and fall without his strong arm holding you. You make it to the top and see the twinkling city which makes you forget how high up you are because of its beauty. You speed walk to railing wanting to get a closer look not noticing Ashton wasn’t by your side anymore “Ash have you seen how beautiful this is?” you ask expecting him to come to your side but he didn’t “ashton?” you say turning around to find him down on one knee with the biggest smile on his face ever. Your hands instantly fly to cover your mouth which was agape in shock. “y/n will you marry me?”

[ailuronymy]

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 1-9 overview.

Thoughts on the new Windclan, courtesy of famed Erin Hunter impersonators: 

“DIRT BOYS!! LET'S MAKE THEM ALL DIRT BOYS!” -- K. 

"I understand we've stressed extensively that ALL Windclan love running and are skinny binches and need to be under the sky or they're sad, BUT half the clan has always been buff as fuck and live like moles :) :) we just didn't mention it before because it wasn't important to Harry's journey :) :) :)” -- S.

For this first share, we’ll keep to the questions posted earlier in the week so that there’s some kind of structure to what we’re doing! Please feel welcome to do the same and @ailuronymy + use the tag #ailuronymy writing challenge. Happy reading and I’m looking forward to seeing your feelings about this book. 

1. First impressions? 

S. better than Bluestar's Prophecy.   K.  Not as bad as BP but also hoo boy, you peel back the onion and it only gets uglier the more you think about it huh K.  Me, reading the book initially: Wow I actually kind of enjoyed this! Me now: I See. I See The Truth.

2. How did you feel reading this section?

S.  mostly the usual amount of exasperation! But it was also fun and I like Tallpaw K.  About the same! Not as bored as BP, and I do like Tallpaw, so that's a blessing in disguise.

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why?

S. probably the one where Heatherstar causes a ruckus and acknowledges Tallpaw's best interests. There was genuinely tension and it was refreshing to have a character in authority actually act reasonably towards Tallpaw.  K.  I agree, that one had me really excited to read.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

S.  I honestly struggled with chapter eight. If I have to read too much action being described, I black out. I just find it so boring. That's not actually a criticism at Erin Hunter. I just have a short attention span for people Doing Things that aren't talking, sword-fights, having big emotions, sex, or any combination. And even then, the sword-fights and/or sex still have to keep to a reasonable word limit or I wander away. I'm the worst. I'm literally like a child who only wants to eat sweets, but in written form.  S. I forgot basically all of chapter eight for the above reason of being terrible, so that's on me.

K. I have nothing written at all about Chapter 7. I liked seeing the apprentice training being like, at least marginally different than Thunderclan's but also It Sucked Bad Chapter Moving On.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? Try breaking it down and analysing what this passage does and how.

S. I actually had a nice time reading about Plumclaw and Tallkit interacting. She was talking him through having his first mouse, I think, and it was genuinely sweet and moving in a way that Erin Hunter's writing almost never is. There was a legit connection and for a moment, I actually believed in these characters as people who lived together and actually have relationships and care. That’s really what I’m about, so it was a pleasant surprise to find in this book. 

K. I have two brief passages for different reasons:  “He’s my son,” Sandgorse snarled. “I’ll decide his future.” Heatherstar  stiffened.  “I decide  the  future  of my warriors.” LOVE Heatherstar showing the fuck up. Absolute legend. K. “Tallkit heard worry in her mew. “Is that why we tunnel under the moor?” he asked. “To hide from the dead warriors in other Clans?” — First tunnelling mention! The idea of Windclan taking shelter from/expertly evading the ghosts of their enemies because of their speed is honestly pretty fun, but I don’t trust the Erins with it one bit. K. This kind of legend is something I think I'd much prefer in like, a Watership Down style myth or story? K. But not if Erin's touching it. S. I was like, "oh this is the sickest thing you've ever--no no no no no" K. (oh, and just for fun, one of my other fave quotes was Dawnstripe saying "We guard the edge of the world." That felt cool.)

6. What themes did you notice in these chapters? What motifs or repeated symbolism/description appeared to you?

K.  Love is a big one, obvs. K.  Also, lots of stories and storytelling? Which feels just like Erin slapping more bullshit in here but like, that feels kinda relevant.

S. I struggled to find cohesive themes in this chunk, except I think division? The division between the tunnellers and moor runners, between Tallpaw and his mum, between Heatherstar and her clan. That's really what popped for me.

K.  Oh, and like... expectations. The clan's expectations of Heatherstar, Sandgorse's of Tallpaw, Tallpaw's expectations for himself.

7. How do you feel about the characters, their motivation, their choices?

K.  They're like. Not the worst? Lots of them fucking suck, as usual. But I'm at least very happy that I actually want to see Tallpaw succeed and grow. Also Heatherstar and Dawnstripe and Barkpaw are great.

S. I like Tallpaw! That's a lot of projection on my part, but I've found him a lot less grating than Bluepaw (who I also wanted to love). S. One of my first major aggravations in the early chapters is Shrewpaw. He's unbearable, and what makes him so is the one-note bullying. It's the equivalent of reading someone go, "I'm not touching you," in an annoying voice for nine chapters, which I feel is another example of Erin Hunter's habit of repetition.  There was less of that in this book than BP, but I still counted a few instances of cats having the same conversation a few times. S. The other cat I can't stand is Sandgorse. My god. That moment when he tells his literal infant son to go cheer up his depressed mother made me just about scream. S. “Go cheer up your mother, child” GO CHEER UP YOUR WIFE, HUSBAND

K.  This is where it's gonna get interesting, because I think my fucking senses were dulled by how much Erin fucked up dads last time, because I didn't hate him off the hop!

S. To me, he smacks of a lowkey toxic masculinity. And the kind of emotional manipulation he does makes me [narrow eyes]. S. (I didn't take very good notes about this bit, because I forgot. I only have "Sandgorse is such a loser" but I trust past me's judgement).

K.  I strongly do think that my impression of Sandgorse is different if only because I think I was so tired at seeing all the non-existent dads in Bluestar's Prophecy that the fact that he actually has conversations with his son and wife for more than like, a sentence, made me go "Oh thank god" And maybe this too is a bit of a projection, but I sort of initially saw him as like... that well-meaning dad who tries to be nice but still manages to fuck up and not actually listen to what people need at all. Like, the classic stupid dad in a bad TV movie who has A Dream for his kid. Where he doesn't mean to be an asshole, he just thinks he's right and that his kid agrees with him because Why Wouldn't He. So I think I took a lot of his dialogue and actions to be a bit more well-meaning-but-still-not-great rather than fully toxic. Obviously it doesn't end well for anyone, but I guess I've just seen too many father figures go around with nice intentions who have absolutely Zero ability at reading a room let alone their kids

S. I think for me, that is the problem. And I think I am less forgiving towards it.

K. Stormtail [Bluestar’s father, Bluestar’s Prophecy] feels like more of the asshole dad, to me, but like. They're both different brands of Not Good.

S. Stormtail is super just a complete prick, no doubt. I think Sandgorse is more engaged with his kid, for sure. But I think it's a very hollow engagement, because he denies everything about Tallpaw's actual personality and desires and just sees him as an extension of himself to control. Which is sort of parental abuse 101.

K. Oh, and while we're discussing them: Palebird huh. Again, Erins, can't write a woman, but like. I don't know, I think that like... she felt like a neat character for the first chapter and now they're doing their Bad Things with her by making her boring and Just Sad and kind of useless in the background for them to mess with and probably kill off later. Like, she doesn't have a whole lot of personality, but she could. S. I think I'd like all the characters more if I spent less time with them. Like, I think for me, the pace is too slow, the dialogue is too long, and because of that, I get bored and annoyed with the characters. Whereas I think if it was only a couple of chapters, forcing the dialogue to be more punchy and illuminating of their character, and less mired in sadness (Palebird) or digging stupid holes (Sandgorse) or bullying (Shrewpaw), I'd have a lot more fun. But as it stands, Palebird starts talking and I start zoning out because they've really done her so dirty in this.

8. If you could ask any character in this section a question, what question would you ask them?

K. Heatherstar: How does it feel to be the baddest bitch in the room at any given moment K. Palebird: Why the FUCK are you with this bastard K. Sandgorse: WHY are you LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

S. Barkpaw: what is it about learning medicine that you love? Or.... Barkpaw: how did you decide to give up your future with others, for a future in medicine? What was that decision like?

K.  A more serious question from me, hehe: Tallpaw - If no one was watching, what would make you happiest to do or say? K.  Shrewpaw: What about yourself do you feel most inadequate about? What part of that drives you to act towards others like you do?

S. Shrewpaw: what's your fucking damage, buddy?

9. In your opinion, what is “world-building” and how important is it to you as a reader (or writer)? How do you feel about the world-building of these chapters so far? If you could, would you change anything, and what would you change?

S. Oh, I hate it. S.  What's hilarious is that for maybe the first time ever Erin Hunter is putting effort in. You can see how hard they're working to make tunnelling sound "cool" or relevant, how they're describing all these tunnel-related skills and techniques the way they do with fighting or whatever. S. And the irony is it's such a wasted effort because personally? Could not care less. This world-building enraptures me none amount and I spend the whole time scoffing like, sure Jan. 

K. One of my notes off the hop is: "I know that Erin’s trying to like… make Windclan look unique by adding these new positions, but just labelling some warriors as “moor runners” doesn’t cut it. Their job is: “hunting and patrolling the borders”. That’s just? An average warrior thing to do? It’s not special, and naming it something fancy doesn’t make me feel like you’re actually adding anything to Windclan’s mythology here." Which is really just tunnel adjacent, but it's still relevant.

K.  Other choice tunneling notes:  "...Listen, I get it, inter-clan conflict is wonderful. But WHY do the moor runners and tunnellers hate each other? If the tunnels are so important to Windclan’s way of life, SURELY the above-ground warriors would feel respect for them? And if Windclan holds such value in their tunnels (Palebird literally just said that the tunnels mean they’re “stronger and cleverer” than the other clans), then WHY would Windclan cats hate them for it?? To have this weird seemingly generational distrust between the two castes is just. Fucking bananas." k. "Hey Erin: Why introduce the tunnellers at all if you keep putting them down and saying how much worse it would be to be one. What’s the point."

S. “I'm still not over the fact they're [Erin Hunter] like... "what can we do to make Windclan, the clan who famous won't even build nests because they like to live under the stars, special and different from the rest... oh I fucking know."

K. "Why is no one in charge in this clan that’s been a tunneller?? Heatherstar and Reedfeather just… fully don’t understand tunnelling and tunnellers needs?? If I were making this system, I’d have it be mandatory that the leader and deputy have to be one from either caste." S. Why not just ban it already. S. I mean, the book tries so hard to convince us tunnelling is useful. I believe none of it.

K. ALSO why don't the tunnelers b a t h e K. "They're permanently soiled with dirt and soot" DO THEY BATHE??? DO THEY?? WHY DO YOU HATE THIS NEW CASTE THAT YOU SEEM TO LOVE? K. Erin Hunter: look at my cool new worldbuilding set! I'm going to shit on it for an entire book

K.  Like. I'm having a hard time pinpointing what I would do better, but like...  I think I want it to feel 1) more cohesive and believable. 2) It needs to be useful and cement this clan as a group of living, working people. It has to make some kind of sense (to an extent) but also have a purpose! 3) sometimes worldbuilding doesn't need to be "uhh they need more jobs" sometimes it can be "we have this myth about running faster than the ghosts of our enemies" and that's just as successful if you do it right. Like, Erin thought you needed to entirely overhaul Windclan and make them Different to make them better. Instead of working with what's already there!

S. I personally feel it doesn't take much to make the clans really different from each other, and it's more the subtle things that make huge differences, not--like you said--more jobs or anything.  Really don't want to blow my own horn, but like, to use the chapter I just wrote as an example: just by making elders vote to make major decisions alters the clan significantly. That's just one thing, that's putting different emphasis and a new swing on a preexisting facet of every clan.  But immediately you get the effect and it has run-on effects too, which is what good world-building should do. It should be hard to remove any one piece without the whole castle crashing down. And this book is basically about how removing one “major” piece (tunnelling) effectively didn’t change anything, really.  K.  It just doesn't feel right to me! It's too big a change to feel natural, let alone how fucking bad it is.

K. And like, honestly, the Erins even did okay with just highlighting the territory and environmental differences! I've read all the different fucking ways they can write a forest after 30 books and they really have written them all. Even just making THAT a focal point helped to make this book feel somewhat distinct and fresh! 

S. One of my long-standing gripes with Erin Hunter is that their environments are boring and basic and they need way more close detail on plants and whatnot but that is a personal preference, and not actually a flaw. Although admittedly, if you do spend time making an environment interesting, it turns out that becomes a reason to read and a pleasure, instead of something you have to trudge through to get to the Actually Good Bits. But that's not what they're about and I can acknowledge that, if not respect it. 

Extra notes:

S. [Sandgorse’s] basically the dad equivalent of a pageant mum? K. Yeah! K. Sports Dads are just Pageant Mom Regional Variants. S. Oh my god. 

K. The story isn't about [Palebird] and at this point it just feels kind of sad to have her onscreen. S. Yeah, I get the feeling she exists to make Tallstar feels unloved, basically. K. Which sucks! S. "Your mum likes your dead sibling more" is uhh a brutal way to tell a story, Erin.

K. For one: Barkpaw is... the best cat S. YES S. My boy.  K. The Erins only know three medicine cats: Softe, Don't Fucking Touch Me, or The Only Reasonable Gay

K.  1) “Tallpaw swallowed a purr. “No racing, I promise. No having fun whatsoever on the dawn patrol.” I Love Him. 2) Dawnstripe seems nice and I think she and Stonepelt need to be friends. 3) I loved Tallpaw's little chase sequence and how clever he is :>

S. I just can't get over how much it breaks my suspension of disbelief to imagine cats digging. S. Of all things.  S. I can tolerate the bullshit fighting better than I can believe cats digging with any efficiency whatsoever. K. They remind me of the Meerkats from Lion King 1/2. K. And I. K. Despise. K. That film. S. Windclan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U76zyUFg3Xo K. PLEASE END MY SUFFERING

K. I think what pisses me off about [Shrewpaw] the most, sidebar, is that he's like this from the start. Who is teaching him this??? Who is raising this little monster boy???? Who in Windclan is just? rearing xenophobes???? S. Like, he's newly born and walking around being a little fascist. S. And no-one is doing anything about it! All the adults are like, "huh, yeah, kids, am I right?" K. He isn't even as cool as Thistleclaw! He's just a little mean weasel boy! S. Sandgorse is literally like, "yeah that little weak moor runner punk child, what a coward, scared of getting sand in his eyes." Like, that's not the right response At All. K. EVERYONE IS SO RACIST ALL THE TIME SEND TWEET S. And none of the moor runners are being like, "hey stop calling him wormcat, his name is Tallpaw and he's your clanmate." S. Additional sidebar: Shrewpaw calling Tallpaw "wormcat" is my favourite thing in the book. S. It's like if I walked up to a nerd I didn't like and was just like, "lol wormboy." S. Devastating. K. RIGHT S. It's so funny. I was literally there like, "okay this is bad behaviour, Shrewpaw, that's not the right way to act, but also? fucking hilarious." K. It was funny at the start and now that it's his Thing it's even more funny. Like you can't think of anything better to say that you keep invoking the "Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?" goof at all hours. S. It kind of reminded me of the time I was teaching and I had to put a ban on the word "Elmo" because the kids kept basically making it a slur on each other, but it was also the funniest thing and it was SO HARD not to fucking lose it. S. Me, being a good teacher: "All right, that's enough, no-one is allowed to call anyone else 'Elmo' anymore." S. Me on the inside: [dying]

[gingerwritess]

Broken Beds

Summary: (Loki x reader) You and your husband kinda sorta accidentally broke your bed one crazy night. You leave it up to Loki to tell Tony the problem and get a new bed, but his version of what happened doesn’t quite match yours.

Warnings: buckets of fluff and a schiza-ton of implied smut eheh my favorite

A/N: Day 1 of the 12 days of Christmas! Oh this one was so fun. Fluffy Loki = happy me. Also this post is apparently not showing up in the tags or searches?? I’m so upset, I worked so so hard on this and it took me forever to get it done and I’m so proud of it :(

Your comments make me inexplicably happy!

Head over to @picassho-18 for tomorrow’s 12 days post!! Hope you all enjoy!

“You tell Tony.”

“Oh, hell no. He’s never going to let us live this down.” You shook your head profusely, crossing your arms.

Loki sighed. “I can’t explain this, I have a reputation to uphold.”

The bed was ruined. The mattress had snapped in the middle, bending in a most unnatural way, and one of the feet holding the bed up had splintered, making the whole bed tilt to one side.

“That was such a bad idea,” you groaned, running a hand tiredly over your face.

Loki chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist to turn you to face him. “I must admit though, it was such fun. I regret nothing.”

You couldn’t help but smile, then gave him your best, most irresistible pout. “Yeah, but now we have to explain this to Tony…”

With an exasperated sigh, Loki gave in. “Fine. I’ll tell him.”

————————————————————

Uh oh. Tony was storming down the stairs heading straight toward you as you stood in the kitchen. Loki trailed in behind him, giving you a guilty smile.

That’s never a good sign.

“You broke the fucking bed?!” The utter astonishment in Tony’s voice brought a cringe to your face.

“Yeah… about that,” you began, holding up your hands in surrender. Tony cut you off with a hysterical cackle of laughter, looking back and forth between you and Loki.

“How… how?” He roared, clutching his stomach as he doubled over with laughter. “How hard do you have to be fucking to break the bed?! I mean,” he panted, “I thought I was crazy in bed. This, this is other-worldly.”

“Wait, what? What are you…” you started to say, but after a glance at Loki’s growing devious grin, everything clicked.

Oh, he did NOT. That liar.

“Hmm, yes, certainly out of this world.” You threw Loki a death glare, deciding to just play into Tony’s idea of what happened. “What else do you expect from an Asgardian?”

Loki winked at you, pecking your lips as he walked past. “Technically a frost giant, darling. Don’t forget.”

Tony was practically crying with laughter now, leaning on the counter for support.

“How could I forget?” You groaned, throwing the towel you were holding on the counter. “So will you get us another bed or not?”

Wiping his eyes, Tony nodded. “Fine, fine, I will. If I don’t, you’d just end up breaking through the floor too! I gotta go tell Strange, he’s gonna die when he hears this...” Still laughing, he finally left you in the kitchen, your blood positively boiling and eyes shooting daggers.

Taking a deep breath and counting down from ten to calm your temper, you stormed out of the kitchen to find Loki.

The little shithead was skimming the bookshelves in the library, purposely not turning around to greet you as you stomped in. You grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face you, smacking his chest playfully.

“That’s not what happened, you nasty prick! I have a reputation to uphold too, you know. And you telling the rest of the team that I am your absolutely sex-crazed, insane plaything is not helping.”

Just to further get on your nerves, he grinned down at you. “Oh, you’re not that? Then please, tell me what you are.”

“Your wife?? Who just so happens to know that that is not AT ALL what happened last night, oh mighty king,” you said sarcastically, faking a dramatic bow.

Loki scowled at your mocking, grabbing a book off the shelf and striding past you. “Careful, darling. If I remember correctly, I was the one who won last night, was I not?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, crossing your arms firmly with a set jaw. “You cheated. So your ‘victory’ doesn’t mean shit to me.”

“Oh please. You’re just a sore loser,” he chuckled, and with that, he strode past you, using the book in his hand to smack your ass on the way out.

(The night before…)

You laid on the bed on your stomach, legs dangling off the edge, typing furiously on a laptop. In walked your husband, clearing his throat to alert you of his presence. You hummed a greeting, too engrossed in your writing to do anything more.

Loki stopped as he was walking past the bed to kiss the top of your head and waited for you to acknowledge him, but… you just kept typing. “That’s it? No kiss?” He asked with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“Uh-uh. Later,” you grunted, eyes not leaving your screen. He sighed and trudged away, and in a few seconds you heard the shower start from your bathroom.

You kept typing. Ideas were actually flowing for your story, so you couldn’t stop now. Minutes later, Loki walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a loose pair of sweats resting low on his hips, wet hair tousled and dripping down his back. That got you to look up from your computer - you couldn’t help it. He looked delectable, you couldn’t deny.

“You didn’t join me,” he quipped. “Can’t say I’m not disappointed.”

“Sorry babe, I’m on a roll right now. Just let me finish this, couple more minutes.”

——————

“It’s been seven minutes, Y/N. A couple is two.” Loki flopped down on the bed beside you, shaking the whole bed. Gritting your teeth, you leaned closer to the screen. “Almost… done…”

“I haven’t even gotten a proper ‘hello’ from you yet,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

Wow. This side of Loki always made you laugh, knowing you were the only one who gets to see him desperate for attention and pouting if he doesn’t get it.

His hand started wandering up and down your back, sliding under your thin shirt to lightly brush your (unfortunately) extremely ticklish sides. Trying to stifle your laughter, you flinched away from his hands which only encouraged him to continue.

“Close the computer,” he murmured in your ear, tickling you even harder as he watched you struggle.

“No! S-stop it,” you laughed, squirming under his touch. That only egged him on, and soon you couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard. You slammed your laptop shut, reached behind you to grab a pillow, then swung it down hard on Loki’s head.

Bad idea.

Loki froze as soon as the pillow hit him, his dangerously flashing eyes slowly coming up to meet yours. “Look who’s finally paying attention,” he taunted, reaching for his own pillow.

“Heh, sorry… pillow fight?” You gulped under his unwavering, threatening gaze.

“Prepare for war, darling.” His ever-widening grin worried you. Then he smacked you across the face with his pillow.

Absolute chaos ensued, your shrieks of laughter filling the room as you pummelled each other with pillows. You were quite the experienced pillow fighter since you’d been having pillow fights since childhood, but Loki caught on quick enough. He kept throwing them at you while you tried to swing yours at him, forcing you to stay in one place and just block his assaults. Sick of his ceaseless attacking, you lunged forward, knocking him backward and landing on top of him.

You both paused for a moment, your hands on his bare chest, breathless and panting as you momentarily got lost in each other’s eyes.

WHAM!

A pillow connected with the side of your head. Loki let out an evil snicker, then rolled you over in hopes of gaining the upper hand. Unfortunately, there was no mattress left for you to roll onto, and you landed on the hardwood floor with a loud thud.

“Y/N! I’m so sorry, are you alright?” Loki scrambled off the bed, relieved to see you laughing hysterically on the floor.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” you giggled breathlessly, grabbing Loki’s extended hand to help you back up. He pulled you to your feet, then to your surprise, pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “What was that for?” you asked as he pulled away.

He smiled, casting his eyes downwards. “I don’t deserve this. Your joy in the smallest moments. I… I’m a miserable wretch. I’m not worthy of calling you mine.”

Mouth gaping, you stared at him in shock as his words processed. Then you quickly picked up a fallen pillow from the floor and started hitting him repeatedly with it. “What. The. Hell-” you enunciated each word with a whack of the pillow. “Are. You. Saying?”

Loki threw his hands up in defense, chuckling at your attacks. “I’m serious!”

“So am I!! Ugh, you’re too tall,” you huffed, climbing up to stand on the bed so you wouldn’t have to look up at him, instead making him look up to you. “You are not a miserable wretch, and you deserve every happiness in the universe.” You shook the pillow threateningly in his face. “Don’t you ever say something like that again.”

He looked up at you standing on the bed, a lazy half-smile resting on his lips. “I love you, Y/N. I truly do.”

“I love you too, you blithering idiot.” You leaned down and kissed him gently.

“You shouldn’t be standing on the bed,” he hummed, craning his neck to meet your gaze as you pulled away. “You’re enjoying the power over me just a little too much.”

With a laugh, you defiantly bounced a little on the mattress. “Would you prefer me on my knees, my king?”

“Yes. Yes, I absolutely would.”

He reached out to grab your leg, but you jumped away from his grasp. “Good luck getting me there.”

Loki growled, swiftly climbing up to stand on the mattress with you, ready to pounce. The bed creaked under your combined weight, but you ignored it and jumped away from Loki’s playfully threatening hands with a yelp.

He attempted to catch you, reaching for your arms and waist but only losing his balance as he took wobbly steps towards you. His instability on the uneven mattress brought a laugh to your lips, and you couldn’t help but jump on the springy bed as you dodged Loki’s unbalanced advances.

“Stop… moving! This is impossible.” With gritted teeth, he finally gave up trying to move around on the unstable mattress and just stood still on the bed.

“I thought gods might have better balance than that,” you chided playfully, bouncing closer to him and causing his arms to flail again as the bed shook under his feet. “Try jumping! Just bounce a little bit, it’s fun.”

Loki positively gaped at the suggestion.

“Gods do not bounce. You can't possibly expect me to-to jump on the bed.”

“Just try it. It won’t kill you.” You jumped right up in front of him, running your hands over his bare stomach to tease the waistband of his pants before grabbing his hands. “Come on!”

You started jumping up and down, letting the springs of the mattress shoot you into the air while you held Loki’s hands to urge him to join you. “Just like when I was a kid,” you giggled. A light smile played across Loki’s face as he watched you jump, looking at your childlike joy with pure adoration. He rolled his eyes with a sigh, unable to resist, then cautiously started jumping along with you.

You let out an excited squeal. “You’re doing it! See, it’s fun!”

“This is not fun.” Bounce.

“Yes it is. You’re smiling.”

“No I’m not.” Bounce.

“What do you call that face, then?”

“This is my ‘I’m going to brutally murder the next being that moves’ face.” Bounce.

You rolled your eyes and started jumping even higher, trying to reach his height. “Well, it’s adorable.”

“This is humiliating. This is worse than get help.”

“Mmhmm. And who are you trying to impress?” You grabbed a pillow off the bed and swung it at him.

He scowled and jumped out of your reach, crossing his arms and still bouncing lightly on the mattress. “You, you pathetic mortal. Always you.”

“Well then. Impress me. ” You grinned and looked around, an idea forming. “You know… I bet you can’t jump high enough to reach the ceiling.”

The ceiling wasn’t that high, and you knew Loki couldn’t say no to a challenge, especially one coming from you. Sure enough, Loki scoffed at your words. “Do you truly think so little of me?”

You shrugged. “I could do it.”

“Go on then, if you’re so sure.”

You squatted and jumped as hard as you could, the bed creaking under your weight as you jumped into the air but fell right back down without reaching the ceiling. Loki burst out laughing at your attempt and you playfully shoved him away. “Stop it! You can’t do it either!”

“Watch and learn, darling.”

He bounced a few times to gain momentum, his hair whipping messily around his face, then jumped with so much force it knocked you back onto the mattress. He swung wildly at the air, almost touching the ceiling, but still wasn’t high enough.

“HAH!” you shouted, scrambling to your feet. “I knew you couldn’t!!”

He had landed on his back but jumped right back up to try again, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He jumped again and again and again, until he full-on jumping on the bed… just as he had sworn he would never do.

There was no way you couldn’t smile at the sight. The youthful glimmer in his eye, the faint grin on his face, hair flying madly in the air as he bounced on the bed reaching for the ceiling. You stopped moving and just watched him for a second, your heart completely full.

“Oh, come on!” he huffed to himself when he missed the ceiling for probably the hundredth time. Out of breath, he paused and looked back at you, chest heaving. “What are you staring at?”

“You.” You grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him down to kiss his nose. “You’re adorable. And I love you.”

“Disgusting.” He grimaced and squirmed out of your grip, but there was no mistaking the tint of pink in his cheeks from your words. “I’m not going to bed until I’ve proved you wrong, you know.”

“Looks like we’ve got a long night ahead of us,” you grinned and plopped down criss-cross on the bed to watch him try.

He frowned down at you, pausing to blow away a strand of hair that wouldn’t stop falling in his face, then got ready to jump yet again. Face set with determination, he took a deep breath and jumped… but out of the corner of your eye, you saw a spark of green light around his fingers.

Ohhhh no he didn’t.

He shot straight up in the air, smacking his hand proudly on the ceiling while you started shouting. “NOT FAIR! No magic allowed!!”

Using his abilities to keep himself airborne a moment longer, the biggest smirk grew over his face. “Impressed yet?” He taunted.

“Not in the slightest, cheater. Get down here so I can slap that smirk off your face.”

“Hmm, kinky, I like it-hey!”

At his comment you had let out an annoyed string of curses and lunged at him, grabbing his legs and pulling him down out of the air. The mist-like substance that had been holding him up dissipated, and Loki dropped heavily to the mattress.

SNAP.

“Oh shit.”

The bed finally gave way as Loki crashed onto it, the mattress snapping and bending in half, caving in around him and pushing you towards the center too. Eyes wide, you both froze as you heard a slow creaking, then one of the legs of the bed splintered.

The entire bed dipped to one side, the broken mattress sliding off the bed. You and Loki scrambled over each other to get off, dodging a few springs that had poked through the fabric.

A silent, shocked moment passed, the two of you standing next to the bed and surveying the wreckage. You slowly turned to Loki, gaping. He glanced over to you nervously, clearing his throat.

“That… wasn’t supposed to happen.”

(Back to the present...)

“You’re going to tell them the truth. Right now.”

Loki grinned and crossed his arms to mimic your stance. “Hmm… no. No, I’m not.”

“Excuse me? I must not have made myself clear enough,” you spat, beyond irritated at your insufferable husband. “Unless you want to sleep alone tonight, you’re going to fix this and tell everyone what actually happened.”

He scrunched up his nose and leaned forward, trying to intimidate you with his towering figure, but you stood your ground. Close enough to your face that your noses were touching, he murmured under his breath, “make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

Of course, Thor chose that moment to stride into the room where you and Loki stood glaring silently at each other, clapping him on the shoulder as he walked by. “Did you sleep well last night, brother?” he asked, the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

You whirled around to glare at Thor now, asking with more force than you intended, “and why do you want to know?!”

The burly god held up his hands in defense. “I've heard from the others that you two managed to break the bed. I must say, I’m not surprised you did, I’m mostly shocked it took this long.”

Behind you, Loki had the nerve to let out a snicker, and you smacked him on the arm. “Your brother,” you seethed, “has been handing out faulty information.”

You were about to explain just how wrong Loki’s story was when Bruce stuck his head in the door. “Broke the bed, huh? Of course you did. You know, you two are the reason we soundproofed the walls, too.” He shook his head, chuckling to himself. “Crazy kids.”

Loki scoffed. “I’m over a thousand years old, you impertinent lout.”

“That’s not what happened…” you started to say as Bruce walked away laughing but gave up with a sigh. Thor still stood in front of you grinning widely, so you figured you might as well tell him what actually happened.

“We didn’t break the bed because of that, Thor, I swear. The mighty ‘god of mischief’ over here,” you jabbed a thumb at Loki, “was ju-“

“-JUST going a bit too hard!” Loki cut you off, rushing up behind you and grabbing you by the waist. “I… lost control, I suppose. Can you truly blame me? With a goddess like this in my bed?”

Thor let out a booming laugh while you wrenched yourself out of Loki’s grip. “You complete ass, don’t you dare think compliments will help! Thor, don’t listen to a word this idiot says, he’s the one who broke the bed but it’s only cause I got him to jump-mmph.”

Loki was suddenly shutting you up with a harsh kiss, bending you backward in a deep dip with one arm around your waist and the other hand sneaking up to your neck. Against your better judgment, your eyes fluttered shut as you melted in his arms, forgetting everything you had been annoyed about. You stayed like that for a moment—you just couldn’t help kissing him back—until Thor cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Shit, sorry.” You shoved Loki away, ignoring the triumphant smirk on his face and quickly wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Forgot you were there.”

Thor looked a tad bit uncomfortable, the poor thing. “You, um, should just tell me later, Y/N. I’m going to leave you two alone,” he mumbled and hurried out the door.

As soon as he was gone, you whirled around to Loki, fuming. “What the hell, Loki? How is them knowing that you were jumping on a bed WORSE than thinking we broke the bed from fucking too hard?!”  

Loki just kept that irritatingly attractive smirk on his lips. “Oh come on. Why do you care what they think?” He reached for your hand and pulled you towards him.

“I’d just love to have everyone know that the ‘mighty Prince Loki, God of Mischief, rightful king of Jotunheim’ was jumping on the bed,” you whined and half-heartedly fought against his attempts, but quickly gave in and let him tug you up against his chest. He wrapped you in his arms, swaying lightly, his voice low in your ear.

“Now now, I can’t have that getting around. That’s our little secret.”

“But it’s ok for everyone to know about our sex life?” you sighed.

His lips brushed your ear and his voice dropped to a whisper, knowing just how to get you riled up. “I have no problem with people knowing what is mine.”

“You are the absolute worst, Loki.”

“But you love it.”

You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how right he was.

“Shut up,” you groaned, then grabbed his face in both hands and smashed your lips onto his. He eagerly reciprocated, letting you push him backwards until his back was against a wall. It was an unusual change from how your making out usually went, normally it was Loki who would back you into a corner, but neither of you seemed opposed to the switch.

You kissed him roughly, releasing all of your pent up irritation towards your annoying, cocky, arrogant, loving...respectful...perfect, gorgeous god of a husband.

“You’re a royal pain in the ass, you know that?” you grinned up at him, your hand curling tighter in his shirt to keep him on your lips.

His hands worked their way down your back as he hummed in agreement, soaking up your kisses.

“I just have one question though,” you paused thoughtfully, leaning your head just out of the reach of Loki’s, making him whine quietly in frustration. “Do you think we could do it?”

Your husband did a double take, eyeing you suspiciously. “What are you…?”

You grinned at him, the mischievous spark that he loved so dearly glinting in your eyes. “Do you think we could break the bed? You know... not by jumping on it?”

Loki’s jaw dropped. It took him a few seconds to gather his senses after that while you gazed innocently up at him, toying with a few strands of his hair and waiting for his answer. Finally, his eyes narrowed and an almost evil smile spread across his face, making you immediately go weak in the knees.

“Oh, I absolutely do. But there’s only one way to find out for sure.” 

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